As much as I love the infantry, I'm sick and tired of seeing my friends getting hurt and killed, and I'm debating switching my MOS from 11b to something(ANYTHING) else.
This tour has really screwed with my head. Last year I spent 9 months in the mountains of Eastern Afghanistan and saw plenty of action. This year I'm in basically the same AO, been here for half the time, and have seen less "action", yet we've probably had 10 times the amount of casualties. I'm on leave now and I can't get my wife to understand why even after all this, I can't wait to get back to my squad. I thought at first that we were making a difference and were helping the people, but I don't really care either way. Not anymore. Not at this cost.
Is switching my MOS going to change how I feel about losing my friends? Would that be an insult to their memory? Does that make me a coward for even thinking of switching? Just a few of the questions I'm constantly asking myself. Sorry I'm ranting, just had to get that off my chest.
For those of you who have read my other posts; you know how hard it was for me to get into the guard and I will always be proud that I did. I'd never change anything about that. Maybe it's just the realities of war that I was unable to see as a civilian that's hitting home, but ****, a nice desk and air conditioning sounds a helluva lot better than a rucksack and a rifle right now...