I wasn't sure where to post this question, so I hope this is in the right spot.
My boyfriend is in the National Guard, and has been for the last couple years. We were together a couple years ago, broke up, blah blah, and are now back together. On Christmas (2008) he returned from a 10 month deployment in Iraq and has shown classic symptoms of PTSD. He started seeing a psychiatrist and was on medication for anxiety for a while, but quit both things. He seemed to be in a good place mentally and it seemed like he was ok with everything.
Last week, we got into a huge blow out fight, which started over something completely ridiculous. He was having a bad day and blew everything out of proportion because he couldn't get iTunes to download to his computer. He said that I don't understand what stress is like and I can't ever understand. He blamed me for a lot of things and was pretty verbally abusive. Then he turned around and said, "wait until you go overseas and take a life, then you can talk to me about stress." I have no idea where any of this came from but we haven't talked since. Between him going to drill this weekend and figuring he needed time to cool off, I haven't spoken to him. He can be the sweetest person...but then the next minute, he's a complete jerk. He's said numerous times that he's got a short fuse now and he gets easily irritated.
Has anyone dealt with someone with PTSD or the ups and downs of things like this? I don't know what kind of resources are available to him, or to us. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. It's very frustrating because he doesn't seem to want to get better anymore. It's almost like he's using his PTSD as an excuse, or a crutch, if that makes any sense.
I've gone to CISDs in the past because of my job (EMS) and I found it helpful. Anytime I try to suggest anything to him, he gets defensive and mean about it, saying I just don't understand. He's right, I don't understand but I can still be here for him, being a good listener. I guess I'm just looking for any advice or resources that I can try. Emotionally, I can't let myself sit around and be someone's door mat, but at the same time I don't want to seem uncaring. Physically, I won't stand for someone putting their hands on me. So I'm kind of up in the air right now and looking for help.
Thank you for taking the time to read my rambling, lol