Girlfriends Necklace? Phone Calls? Please Read

[J Unit 0524]

I've been with my current girlfriend for almost 18 months now. Its a pretty serious relationship and we haven't gone a single day without talking the whole time and we see each other very often. Being away from her during BCT training is going to be the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with. No joke, its going to be 10x harder than BCT itself. She has a class ring thats very expensive and has a lot of sentimental value to it that she wears everyday. She was going to put a chain with it and give it to me to wear around my neck under my uniform at BCT. Believe it or not it would be a major stress reliever and do me more than you could imagine if I was able to keep it. Will the DS's in BCT take it away or will they let you wear things like that? Also whats the status on cell phones? I realize they take them when you get there but do you get them back frequently to use while in BCT? And how much phone time do they give you with their pay phones on base? I realize I can write with her, and we will everyday, but its still not the same. I'll go crazy if we cant talk at least once every so often over the phone, even if its for a few minutes.

[J Unit 0524]

I actually just thought of this and thought I'd add it before anyone responds. Would it also be a safer option of being able to keep the necklace if I had her send it through mail with one of her letters after I actually get BCT started or do the DS's check your mail to make sure nobody sends items? Also do you get mail every night? Thanks again.

[cheeseman]

I guess you haven't been to any RSP's. No, you won't be able to wear that. Yes, they do search the mail. It's part of it man. You may be away at war. It trains both you and your loved ones to the fact that you may be gone for over a year multiple times.

[SteveLord]

If you're not even out of highschool yet (which it sounds like you are)...you're making a huge deal about the whole thing.

[s12eaton]

To answer your questions: The only thing you can wear is a wedding ring, your ID tags (dog tags), and a religious something (cross, roseary, etc) My suggestion to you is to take it and put it in your locker. You can look at it everyday. You are on the move so much, you don't really want to keep anything like that on you anyways. Even if you wanted to chance it and put something on your ID chain, those things break easy. About the phone call. My DS let us use our Cell phones every Sunday. If you didn't have a cell phone, you got to go and use the pay phone. Times varied. At first we only got 10-20 min phone calls. By the end, we were getting phone time for 1-2 hours. As far a mail goes, I'll be honest, it's not that regular. Tell whoever is writing you that it is a game of numbers...the more mail they send, the better chances of you getting mail on a regular basis. As far as DS opening your stuff, if it is just a letter they don't care. If it feels like there is something in there and ALL large envelopes and packages are opened in front of them. Hope this helps.

[WIBecky74]

Dang where did you go? We got one five minute phone call in Reception, not within 72 hours of arriving. One five minute phone call after going from red to white phase. One five minute phone call after white phase. Told we would get one once in blue phase but it didnt end up being until two days before graduation. And not on cell phones! On pay phones that you use phone cards on, that take forever and were included in the five minutes. Literally timed from the time you picked up the phone receiver by someone assigned to keep track with a watch. Oh, I did get one extra call for doing good on a pt test. A few (I think it was six of us) from the company got them. And this was less then a year ago that I was there.

Mail will become your best friend! There are reasons for limited phone calls. You would think it helps to get to talk to family, but in a way it just got you more home sick. You are there to be a trained Soldier and that training really needs to be taken seriously. Its not social hour 101.

The limited contact also makes for a great homecoming. Think how proud you will be of yourself for your accomplishments! It also makes you come together better as a team during training.

[LT_77]

Focus on training. Get used to being gone. If she's there when you get back, it was meant to be.

[Gio446]

you will barely even have that much time to think about her. your going to be moving so much and besides you need to keep your head at where you are and focused on what your doing or your going to miss out on learning something that will be valuable later on. Training is about learning to become a soldier and if your not going to have your full head in it then don't bother with it. The last thing anyone need's is someone who's head is going to be in the clouds exspecially if you end up out in a war zone where your going to have to protect not only your self but everyone else around you. You'll end up being away from her alot so you better start getting used to it now, if you want to start off slow just by missing a day in between talking then try that before you leave this way it's not like hmph...ripping off a band aid quick and fast and barly feel a thing. Like they said if it's ment to be it will be but if it's not then get up brush your self off and keep moving on. And no offence man but you sound like you might be obsessing a little bit and that is not healthy for either of you. So in the long run this might be good for both of you cause being away from people can sometime's help you to grow closer togeather. This might sound harsh and cold but it's the truth and I've never believed in sugar coating anything.

[J Unit 0524]

Well the ring is semi-religious (its a private catholic high school class ring). Wonder if I could use that as an excuse to wear it lol. And yes were both out of high school, I'll be a senior in college this coming up year and she'll be a junior. And we would probably write everyday, plus she promised to fill me in on the Cleveland Indians in her letters haha. Huge tribe fan. And you all say your phone calls actually come off your cell phones, should you bring a charger? What if your phone dies from using it how would you go about using it that next sunday for the five or so minutes? And what do you mean you can look at it? Are you saying they wouldn't take the necklace from me and just have me keep it in my locker? And you guys cant possibly tell me I wont have time to think about her, what about private time that you get every night. Thats all I'll be thinking about then, and I'm sure it'll run though my mind here and there in training, thats the whole point of me wanting to bring the ring as a stress reliever and to calm me down.


Heres another question though, what about pictures? Can I bring a picture of her or will they take it? Or should I have her mail me one? Thanks again guys, I appreciate all the responses and inputs.

[RLO]

Not that I disagree with you on missing people, I will be leaving in addition to many friends my husband and son. However, we tend to anticipate things like this so much, they become worse. Don't worry so much about how much you'll miss her, etc......while thoughts will cross during downtime, I'm pretty sure things like sleep and such will also become important!

The phone charger question is a good one .......

[Mildawg]

[QUOTE=J Unit 0524]Well the ring is semi-religious (its a private catholic high school class ring). Wonder if I could use that as an excuse to wear it lol. And yes were both out of high school, I'll be a senior in college this coming up year and she'll be a junior. And we would probably write everyday, plus she promised to fill me in on the Cleveland Indians in her letters haha. Huge tribe fan. And you all say your phone calls actually come off your cell phones, should you bring a charger? What if your phone dies from using it how would you go about using it that next sunday for the five or so minutes? And what do you mean you can look at it? Are you saying they wouldn't take the necklace from me and just have me keep it in my locker? And you guys cant possibly tell me I wont have time to think about her, what about private time that you get every night. Thats all I'll be thinking about then, and I'm sure it'll run though my mind here and there in training, thats the whole point of me wanting to bring the ring as a stress reliever and to calm me down.


Heres another question though, what about pictures? Can I bring a picture of her or will they take it? Or should I have her mail me one? Thanks again guys, I appreciate all the responses and inputs.[/QUOTE]


I don't know wth is going on in training nowadays where they'd let you anywhere near a cell phone, so I won't touch that. But I wouldn't try to get past the system on anything, just cause yourself more grief.

As far as the picture goes, as long as its a tasteful picture, you can have it. I.E, no thong shots, clevage shots, i'm sure you get the point. Private time is not so much private time as it is, get in the shower, shine your boots and go to bed time. There will be NO point in basic where you will have large amounts of free time. Massive amounts of time to stand and stare at the back of your battle buddies head... yes... you'll find all kinds of fun crap in the back of peoples heads.....

As far as the necklace, when I went through, all your civies and personal gear go into the bag you brought with you, and tossed into a locked room.

Seriously though, if youre this concerned about being apart for a few months, then you may want to rethink this. I've had buddies stuck overseas for 18-20 months. Mission first.

[SteveLord]

Just a warning, but some men get dumped while at basic. The infamous Dear John Letter. So I would want to get that cleared up before you go.

Also, keep your military earnings far out of reach of any girlfriends.

[maidenrockmom]

I agree with Mildawg, in reading everything you have posted in this thread you may seriously want to rethink your career choice. You don't mention where you are going for your Basic training but something you may want to check out is this web thread [url]https://www.benning.army.mil/198th/SoldiersJournal/index.htm[/url] I found it very informational while my son was attending Basic at Fort Benning.

A word of warning: if you obsess about your girlfriend and every sentence uttered from your mouth contains a reference to her, you will be targeted by your platoon mates. They will do everthing in their power to use your obsession to break your spirit. Happened to one of the guys in my sons platoon. Granted you may get along fine with the majority of your fellow platoon members but just like any school situation there will more than likely be some that you will not get along with. Those are the ones that will do anything in their power to break you.

At Benning it was a five minute phone call at the payphones, if they were working and if you earned the privledge. We got maybe 6 or 7 total phone calls during the entire time my son was at Basic. Don't know how many we missed when our phone was busy. The time difference plays into this also, got one call at 11:45 p.m. (here, there it was 12:45) after he was done with fire watch. The payphones at Bennigs are outside so weather will be a factor.

The majority of our communication was done by letters. These can be very special as you will hear how much your sweetheart misses you. Do not be surprised if you don't get mail for a few days, things happen. You may end up like my son and get 14 letters in one day, 21 the next and nothing for a week. Be careful what you share in your letters as due to lag time if you write how upset you are that she hasn't written to you it may be a week before she gets that letter from you and gets the reply sent back. By then you will have forgotten how upset you were but she is still dwelling on it as you haven't sent an apology back to her.

Lights out is lights out, you will be having to hide under covers with a flashlight and be so exhausted that you will fall asleep writing replies. Then unless you happen to have a stash of stamps someplace you may have to wait till someone remembers to pick them up for you when they get to go to the PX or whereever you get stamps from. I don't know how outgoing mail is handled, don't know if they have you drop it at the post office or if they collect it and send it over (the DS's are just as busy as you and may not have time to do that everyday).

Just some things to think about. Another is the whole cell phone thing, my son did not bring his, it would have been just as expensive as a phone card without the nationwide coverage plan. I do believe that some companies will excuse those charges for military personnel but I may be wrong. Then there was the whole not being able to use it anyway it would have been in with his civilian stuff, got that back two days before graduation.

[J Unit 0524]

Thanks guys, your inputs have been very helpful and I know a lot more of what to expect when I get there now.

[s12eaton]

As you can see, everyone has a different expreience with Basic. Not only are different places (Benning, Leonardwood, Jackson, etc..) different on rules but it is even different between companies. I was at Ft. Leonardwood. We got our cell phones every sunday. The Drill Sgts. used it to their advantage. Instead of wasting time standing in line, we got our phone call then moved on to training or cleaning. If your phone was running low on juice, we just stood next to a plug and let it charge. You could have 4 pictures up in your locker. You could have as many as you wanted in your personal drawer. (like someone said before they had to be tasteful) The first time I went to the PX I bought a bunch of stamps. Every morning after breakfast chow, when we came out, there was a mail box. You would run down there and put your letters in and get in formation before the Drill Sgts came out. Later on we got smart and realized that when the last fire guard had to take the trash out in the morning, their was a mailbox right by the dumpster so they would collect all the letters and put them in their for us. Like the past post said, the mail sucks. You will get 5 letters one day and non for the next couple of days. What I would do is just open one or two a night. If you are going to Ft. Leonardwood, I can help you more than if you are going to Benning. Seeing how that is where Infantry is, they are a little more strict. I've heard that Jackson is so easy that you could probably just take your family with you and have them stay in the barracks!! J/K

[Javier Lopez]

J Unit: Calm down. Don't make life harder that it already is. Thank the good Lord you'll be able to make phone calls every now and what!!

My experience, I went to Parris Island, SC. USMC Boot Camp, no rose garden. I had my girlfriend as you did, just out of High School. We wrote to each other every single day, and I mean every single day. Your first week was slow, but after that, letters just came in on a regular basis. We had no phone privileges. Some of us got to make one phone call during the whole training and that was during the rifle range phase, entering the 3rd month, and just for those who had qualified as Expert Riflemen. Just us. The rest of the platoon had to wait until graduation to talk to their families. That phone call, on or about 10:00 at night. During our own sleep time.

It was F*&$%^ difficult to be away from her, rest assured I lost her when I came back, for the simplest and stupidest reason, I stopped writing. Now, 18 years after, I still regret it.

My personal advise, don't. Let her know how important she is to you, and how much you need her during training, and that you are coming back to her, ask her to wait for you.

Being away, BT, AIT, Deployment, Tour or whatever, the mission must the most important thing in your mind, but the drive that keeps you fighting for that mission, doesn't have to be the mission alone.

Best of Luck.

[soon2barmywife]

Like some have said before, it all depends where your training is at, your company and the DS that you have. My fiance also went to Ft Leonard Wood and as soon as he got there they took his cell phone and he didn't get it back until a day or 2 before graduation. He was only allowed to make calls on pay phones, but that meant that he had to wait in a long line to use it and once he got to use it the call would usually only last about 10 minutes, 20 if you're lucky. Those calls were usually on Sundays or whenever they had a pass, but that wasn't like every week, maybe every other week. That was if the DS was in a good mood or if someone in the company didn't mess up. Just be prepared to no to talk to your GF as much as you usually would. You should get accustomed to writing letters because you'll be writing more than talking. What some has said about the mail not coming every night is true. Sometimes you get a bunch one day and nothing the next day. @ Ft Leonard Wood, it depended on how often they would go to pick up the mail. My fiance said that sometimes they wouldn't go to get it. Weather was also another factor. The roads would be so icy that only the DS were allowed to drive on it. And yes, you are allowed to bring pictures. Your GF is also allowed to send pictures. You most definitely wouldn't be able to wear that ring. I'm pretty sure that they're going to take that too. My advice to you is to just write her as much as you can. Writing letters to her will help you with missing her and when you do get phone calls make them worth it. Don't fight with her, just tell her how much you miss her and love her. My fiance and I survived through it and honestly, it wasn't as bad as WE thought it would be. The letters helped a lot, getting and writing letters really made it a little easier for us to be apart from each other. I hope this helps and I hope everything works out for you. HANG IN THERE!!

[SteveLord]

Talking about surviving a few months of bootcamp? Try a deployment......

[J Unit 0524]

Wow thanks guys, I didn't think I'd get this much response and tips about it. Me and her have talked it over and I even had her read a lot of your responses so she can see how its going to be like for herself because she thought I was exaggerating on a lot of things. Sucks that I cant wear the ring on a chain, you guys really don't think mailing it to me would work? And at least I can bring the pictures, that will help a lot. I'm assuming most people just write everyones phone numbers and addresses they're planning on trying to contact on paper and bringing it, I couldn't imagine a list of addresses being taken away. Also I noticed everyone talks about Benning, Lennor, etc. I'm actually going to Fort Sill, anyone have info about that place because nobody seems to talk about it. And another thing I was wondering is do you have access to newspapers in basic at all on Sundays? And when you get to AIT do you get to use phones on a daily basis? Thanks again guys! Trying to learn as much as I can to get prepared, I leave May 21st!

[s12eaton]

A trick I was taught about writing everyone's address down was to buy 3X5 notecards and address them and put a stamp on them. When you get to boot, they will give you your address. Then all you have to do is flip that card over, write your address on there with a note that says please write and there you have it, your own postcards. This prevents you from writing a bunch of people who aren't going to write you back.

[maidenrockmom]

Something we did once we got the address was send our son a couple of sheets of the peel and stick address labels, sent along a sheet with our address on it. That way he didn't have to anything but peel and stick. Saved him several minutes a night, something you will appreciate once you start.

[WIBecky74]

Oh good idea! My boyfriend gave me an address label sheet from a print out on his computer before I left. I laughed, like i'd need THAT many. Joke was on me, I used all but two of them. I think it was because I had just moved into his house a few days before leaving for training and he was worried i'd forget the address! That or its cuz he is enlisted and knew i'd want them. :)
Then Dad gave me a laminated little paper with their, my brother, my sister, and a few aunts and uncles of mine addresses I might want to write while away. It came in handy (lots of recent moves in the family) until I accidently included it in a letter I wrote to my boyfriend. Then thankfully I had written them down somewhere else and kept all the letters i'd received so I could get them off the envolopes too.

[J Unit 0524]

Eaton that notecard trick is actually really smart, thats what im going to do also. And I like the idea of the address sheets, ill do that to my girlfriends house.

[matthew.ritchie]

[QUOTE=s12eaton]A trick I was taught about writing everyone's address down was to buy 3X5 notecards and address them and put a stamp on them. When you get to boot, they will give you your address. Then all you have to do is flip that card over, write your address on there with a note that says please write and there you have it, your own postcards. This prevents you from writing a bunch of people who aren't going to write you back.[/QUOTE]

The US Post Office also sells [URL="http://shop.usps.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?catalogId=10152&storeId=10001&categoryId=15602&productId=37551&langId=-1"]pre-stamped postcards[/URL] which you may use for this purpose. Ideally, you'll already have the addresses written on them before you ship.

[J Unit 0524]

Can you also get the address label stickers from the post office?