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  • "Single" mother, trying to enlist

    I have been recently trying to enlist in the USMC Reserves (I was enlisted and ready to ship before I became pregnant back in 2011, then got "discharged" before I could ship because of my pregnancy), and I keep on getting the run around. First they're asking me to give up full custody of my daughter to her father, which doesn't make any sense because then my daughter gets absolutely no benefits so why join? Then they're saying temporary guardianship but that doesn't make any sense either because her father already has the same rights as me, seeing how his name is on her birth certificate. We have no legal custody orders, just the basic "joint" custody the state grants you when you become parents... I am SO confused as to what my options are military wise. I want to join. I'm in college right now studying Criminal Justice, aspiring to be a police officer. If I could somehow get into the military to fulfill that dream, and also become a police officer... I'd be more than happy. It's something I want to do, very, very badly. If ANYONE can tell me what the National Guards rules are when it comes to "single" parents... please, fill me in because I'm totally lost. I should be able to leave my daughter with her father and return home to her, simple as that. All this court mumbo jumbo isn't making much sense to me. Shouldn't be this damn hard to serve your country!

  • #2
    Re: "Single" mother, trying to enlist

    Originally posted by nalwade93 View Post
    I have been recently trying to enlist in the USMC Reserves (I was enlisted and ready to ship before I became pregnant back in 2011, then got "discharged" before I could ship because of my pregnancy), and I keep on getting the run around. First they're asking me to give up full custody of my daughter to her father, which doesn't make any sense because then my daughter gets absolutely no benefits so why join? Then they're saying temporary guardianship but that doesn't make any sense either because her father already has the same rights as me, seeing how his name is on her birth certificate. We have no legal custody orders, just the basic "joint" custody the state grants you when you become parents... I am SO confused as to what my options are military wise. I want to join. I'm in college right now studying Criminal Justice, aspiring to be a police officer. If I could somehow get into the military to fulfill that dream, and also become a police officer... I'd be more than happy. It's something I want to do, very, very badly. If ANYONE can tell me what the National Guards rules are when it comes to "single" parents... please, fill me in because I'm totally lost. I should be able to leave my daughter with her father and return home to her, simple as that. All this court mumbo jumbo isn't making much sense to me. Shouldn't be this damn hard to serve your country!
    Please identify who "they" are. You can get a waiver per regulation to join the USAR or ARNG at a minimum. Off the top of my head I cannot speak for the usmc or regular army.

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    • #3
      Re: "Single" mother, trying to enlist

      Originally posted by Mr.Incognito View Post
      Please identify who "they" are. You can get a waiver per regulation to join the USAR or ARNG at a minimum. Off the top of my head I cannot speak for the usmc or regular army.

      I apologize! My recruiter that is working with me in the Marines. What they're trying to get me is a waiver... apparently. Does the National Guard require a parent giving up full custody? Or is temporary guardianship for while you're away at training part of your waiver? I'm just curious because I'm really, really trying to get in. I'm completely qualified, but the fact that I have a child is making this almost impossible... and I feel like it shouldn't be lol.

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      • #4
        Re: "Single" mother, trying to enlist

        NO Recruiter should be advising you to give up custody of your child. That's just morally and ethically wrong! No enlistment is worth that.

        That being said, a single parent can join the National Guard but it requires a very simple Dependency Waiver with a Family Care plan. You would need to appoint a Guardian while you're away at training and if ever deployed. I've done three in the past year and the turn around is about a week once we have all the documents required.

        Best of luck with the marines (shaking my head).

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        • #5
          Re: "Single" mother, trying to enlist

          Originally posted by NYGuardRecruiter View Post
          NO Recruiter should be advising you to give up custody of your child. That's just morally and ethically wrong! No enlistment is worth that.

          That being said, a single parent can join the National Guard but it requires a very simple Dependency Waiver with a Family Care plan. You would need to appoint a Guardian while you're away at training and if ever deployed. I've done three in the past year and the turn around is about a week once we have all the documents required.

          Best of luck with the marines (shaking my head).
          Thanks for the info, definitely helped! And yeah it's pretty ridiculous. I just want to join the military and come home to my child! Her father would be my family care plan. My situation really isn't difficult and people are making it difficult hahah. I'm going to call a National Guard recruiter tomorrow to see what's up. Thanks so much!

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          • #6
            Re: "Single" mother, trying to enlist

            Originally posted by NYGuardRecruiter View Post
            NO Recruiter should be advising you to give up custody of your child. That's just morally and ethically wrong! No enlistment is worth that.

            That being said, a single parent can join the National Guard but it requires a very simple Dependency Waiver with a Family Care plan. You would need to appoint a Guardian while you're away at training and if ever deployed. I've done three in the past year and the turn around is about a week once we have all the documents required.

            Best of luck with the marines (shaking my head).
            This post is credited.....spot on advice.

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            • #7
              Re: "Single" mother, trying to enlist

              It is unethical and against every regulation that I know of to tell a mother to give up their custody of a child to join. As long as you have a family care plan in place you can join the NG. It will require a Dependancy waiver but that is not an issue to get approved.

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              • #8
                Re: "Single" mother, trying to enlist

                I am also a single mother who enlisted with the ANG. I swear in tomorrow, basically I understand that if you go in active duty you can not have a dependant and be single, but if you're enlisting as reserve status then the family care plan has a guardianship plan for whenever you are in training or deployed. DO NOT give up custody rights as you can not get those back. I ran into issues with recruiters who don't understand the family care plan for single parents, so search for a recruiter who does understand it. Made my process much simpler with a recruiter who understood that part of the process.

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