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Leaving Family Behind

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  • #16
    Re: Leaving Family Behind

    Independence all I ever wanted, independence happy to get away, independence whish it would never end.


    • #17
      Re: Leaving Family Behind

      Waiver approved - good to go! Sounds like I will need to wait till 1 June to finish processing though - they recently capped the monthly quota and they are full for May.


      • #18
        Re: Leaving Family Behind

        Congrats on the waiver approval. Especially since it sounds like they are rare nowadays.


        • #19
          Re: Leaving Family Behind

          Mertz -

          Congrats on your waiver, and more importantly, sticking with it.

          I'm 47, and came back to the military after a 16 year break.

          The things I regret most in my life are the things I HAVEN'T done, not the things I have done.

          Good luck in your endeavors. I'm sure I speak for everyone in saying the Military is a better place with guys like you in it.

          SSG F


          • #20
            Re: Leaving Family Behind

            Originally posted by mertztr
            I'd like to put this out there to see how others in similar situations have dealt with the emotions of leaving loved ones behind. Some background:

            I'm 37 with a wife and 4 year old twins. I've always been interested in the military, but soon after college, Corporate America started calling and I never joined. It's always been one of those nagging regrets, and over the last 6 months or so I started re-hashing it again. I met with a recruiter and OSM, and decided the time could be right to pursue the dream of OCS and 11A.

            My wife was s surprisingly easy sell - she's very supportive. Also have the support of other family/friends and work. I couldn't wait to get moving - was hoping for a May BCT date and Federal OCS in the fall or next spring, but the thought of leaving my kids behind for training, let alone a deployment, always bothered me.

            Then the delays began. First, a hospital couldn't locate records for a surgery I had when I was 10. MEPS returned the pre-screen wanting the op records, finally we had to submit letterhead from the hospital saying the records were lost, and I typed up a note describing the surgery, no complications,etc.

            Then MEPS decided to PDQ me for eczema. I'm a triathlete and spend a few hours in a pool each week, and I'm confident that 99% of my dry skin stems from chlorine exposure. My fault for not including a pre-emptive explanation of this with my packet. I do have a prescription cream that I use on occasion, but one refill easily lasts an entire year. Now the packet has been submitted to NGB; who knows if I will get a waiver or not but the process can easily be drawn out for months now.
            This is normal at meps. You should not be taking it that fate is saying not to join. The Meps doctors DQ people for ecezema if they see any little blotch. Meps is not the military, its not chosing you or not. You will get the waiver as its a very simple medical waiver. Once your physical gets scanned (takes about 3 days from when you went to consult) you will hear within 7 buisness days from when the waiver is submited.
            All this does is give me time to dwell on the tough questions. Part of me wonders if this is fate's way of saying that my job is now to be with my family. Sometimes it feels like a selfish decision to do this now, after I've already had kids. When I think about time away - 10 weeks for BCT, 12 weeks for OCS, 16-17 for I-BOLC, then pre-ranger.Ranger School, Air Assault/Airborne... the list goes on, and that doesn't even include the inevitable deployment - which would be the hardest but possibly the best part of serving. No doubt it would be an awesome experience and would fulfill a lifelong dream, but I worry that it isn't fair to the kids.

            What doesnt kill children makes them stronger. Also remmber that at 4 years old how much of this will your child remmber in 10 years? Do you remmber what your parents were doing when you were four?

            The military is a lifestyle, not a hobby. Joining the Army means you must commit some serious time to us. You will be gone yes, but you will come back. Deployments happen but now they are even slower then what they used to be back in 2004. If you do get deployed you no longer have to worry about 24 month deployments as all NG units do 12 now.

            If this is seriously a "life long dream" then why are you hesitant on it? And if it truely is, what will you think in 10 years when you cannot join the military at all , will you regret it?

            I think so, and if you do join I boubt in 10 years you will regret the couple of months you spent away from your Wife and children.

            I also know that I can't possibly be the first one to have these issues, so I'm hoping that some others will have some advice to give while I do some more soul searching and wait for the news from NGB.

            Check red highlighted text


            • #21
              Re: Leaving Family Behind

              ........................ to late...


              • #22
                Re: Leaving Family Behind


                How about an update? It's been a few months. Hopefully you're busy in Basic or OCS by now. I'd love to hear more about your journey. Just beginning one myself. Hoping to go the same route (OCS).