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Is it True?

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  • #46
    Re: Is it True?

    haha. This just recently happened. I was bringing my old SSG a coffee from my Dunkin donuts run during AT. At the time he had a new fresh private in there who had 2 ticks still on him... one on his man-sack and the other near the head of his manpiece. So he told me to come watch him mess with this kid, and he proceeded to tell the kid that because of the location of the tick bites and the time he was bitten, he wouldn't be able to have *** with his girlfriend for 2-3 months just to make sure he doesn't spread lymes disease. Well this kid starts freaking out, and manages to tell us that he's getting married the week after AT and going on his honeymoon. I was bursting at the seams trying to hold in my laughter. The SSG kept the straightest face as he apologized and said that its for the sake of his wife. We kept this kid going for the rest of AT, and on the last day told him the truth. He was a good sport about it, wether it was really being a good sport or cause it was an officer and a SSG who messed with him, I don't know. But it was sheer brilliance lol

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    • #47
      Re: Is it True?

      Wait a minute...."man-sack" and "manpiece" aren't banned words???? LOLOL

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      • #48
        Re: Is it True?

        [QUOTE=Wobbly Emu;135270]Wait a minute...."man-sack" and "manpiece" aren't banned words???? LOLOL[/QUOTE]

        lol, nope. I choose my words carefully!

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        • #49
          Re: Is it True?

          OK, I take you back to Parris Island, about May 1983......

          Just like in "Full Metal Jacket", first thing in the morning, all the recruits have to get on line and count off to show no one has wandered off. This one kid across from me is doing the gotta-pee dance something awful. The Drill Instructor is busy with one of the Privates up front, so the guy turns around, grabs his two canteens, dumps what little water was in there, and proceeds to **** into them. Both of them. To the top. Might have some left over......

          So the DI has us change into PT's, and orders us to fall out in 2 minutes with canteens. He also warns us that we shouldn't need any water, as we were ordered to top off the canteens as soon as we entered the squad bay the previous day. We go do our thing, and back then, part of the cool down phase of PT was to have the platoon walk in a big circle while drinking one canteen 'til it was empty, and pour the other one over our heads. As you might have guessed, our man is "refusing to train" on both counts. The DI's make an inquiry as to why. Our guy says "I'm not hot, I'm not thirsty". The DI's insist that he is both, and orders him to empty a canteen over his head, then down the other canteen in one chug. Now this private, who is VERY dark-skinned, turns ghost white, but holds fast. The DI's got a bit excited, and shark attacked him like a feeding frenzy. He finally pours the canteen over his head, and in hot, humid Parris Island, the smell was unmistakable. The DI's are chewing on him, but can't stifle their laughs! They say "Let me guess, your second canteen is full of ****, too, isn't it sweetheart?!?" "Sir, yes, sir!"

          "OK then.....Private (blank), since you brought the wine, step into the woods, we have a private table for one just for you!"

          He went into the woods with two Drill Instructors, came out about 10 minutes later, enroute to sick bay, and we never saw him again.

          To this day, I go **** at the first sign of bladder discomfort!!

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          • #50
            Re: Is it True?

            He is lucky....Reminds me of our own canteen story....

            We are not a week into our Whiskey portion of training. We were always require to have our canteens full no matter what. Sadly not everyone follows the practice of emptying them out at night, letting them dry and filling them again with fresh water in the morning. So one of our Soldier Medics goes to the water fountain during one of our breaks to dump out the old water and refill it. No sooner does he unscrew the cap and starts to fill it when there is the unmistakable smell of bowels. Surely this smell cause the SM to gag. The overflow from the canteen went into the fountain making it unusable. The entire company was called to the CTA where there was an order for Open Ranks. We all were then ordered to dump our canteens while the Cadre watched. Search turned up a few with chew spit in them.

            From then on there was a joking order to sniff our canteens in the morning. The fireguard also got a thorough talking to. We still were unable to figure out how someone was able to accomplish that both physically and morally. And granted we came up with many solutions, each more disgusting then the last.

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            • #51
              Re: Is it True?

              my DS found an open locker one night and trashed it quietly. then wrote on the fireguard list "don't touch the clothes and don't wake the victims." Fireguard had to leave it alone all night.

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