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Is it True?

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  • #16
    [QUOTE=Jmiranda_Cav]this one is a bit on the foul side.

    so while stationed in Illsheim, Germany, out unit was up for annual gunnery. It was also in prep for our upcomig deployment for the buildup for oif. I was in the rear with the special phase team, so this was the story told to me.

    we had an nco, former cannon-cocker (no offense) and somewhat dim-witted. while in the chow hall in baumholder, some of the fellas grabbed an extra serving of cookies and took them to the FARP. Before they left, they gave them a special treat. Let's say it involved placing them in an orrifice, wrapped them back in the saranwrap and took off to the FARP. later that night as the last bird came in for the night, they gave him the cookies. He ate them on the way back, said they tasted rather good.

    It wasnt till they were heading back to illsheim that they informed the nco of the special flavoring.

    quite possibly the nastiest and vile joke i have ever heard of but rather funny. it doesnt end well, they got summarized article-15's.[/QUOTE]



    Smells like victory to me

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    • #17
      One night the DS came into our bays right at lights out. He was in his PT's (the same uniform we had to sleep in) and no road guard vest (the DS always wore them in PT's). He walked up behind a guy getting into bed and put his hand on the guy's shoulder. The trainee glanced over and saw black skin (the DS obviously). Without thinking he cocked his arm forward and smacked the DS in the nuts. He dropped to his knees and screamed for the guy to get downstairs in ACU's with his battle buddy. Turns out the trainee had been going back and forth with another black male and didn't think anything of it when he glanced and saw black skin and no road guard vest. When he got downstairs the DS had cooled down and stepped up to his mistake of not wearing the road guard vest and grabbing his shoulder and laughed about it. Had it been any of our other DS I think the whole platoon would have been outside doing front back go's in the snow.

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      • #18
        One night while everyone was sleep, we had 2 privates who sat in their bunks and "accidently" fell asleep during fireguard, and just so happened that the DS was walking through the bays and found out....My platoon had the meanest DS in the whole company so you can guess how that night ended. It ended with everyone standing at parade rest all night :rolleyes:

        In white phase our DS told us not to get caught sitting in our bunks any other time except for bed check....


        A HOOAH thing i did was in Blue Phase when we had our run day I was running neck and neck with the DSs and as usual most people went to sick call...
        Last edited by Anternal; April 15th, 2009, 10:04 PM.

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        • #19
          We have a Chief in my unit. He is the best, been around the block before there was a block, and very good at his job. Chief, is always in a good mood and loves jokes. It was a hot day and Chief was walking through camp. He got the idea, that if he went to the Medical guys and faked like he had a sore throat that he could score a ice cream cup. It was a rumor we heard. Chief, goes in the tent and the docs arent there, nobody is there except this fresh off the plane Private. This guy is so new, Chief is probably the first Warrent, this guy has ever seen. Chief picked up on this, so he asked the Private what he was in here for. So now this kid thinks this is the doc that is here to check him out, when in reality, he just met the biggest practical joker in camp out trying to score some ice cream on a hot day. The Private, looks at Chief and says "well Sir, I have this, um, um, um.. I have this itchy rash in my area". Chief, kept a straight face and says, that sounds serious, and starts asking questions like, how long have you had it, are you changing underwear, etc.. So this kid has no clue that Chief is not a medic, but playing the part well. Chief, is now going to see how far he can take this. He tells the kid to drop his drawers and lets see how bad it is. The Private, stands up and drops trou. Chief, looks at him and says something along the lines of its the worst case he has ever seen. He says he needs to air them out. There happens to be a large fan over in the corner. Chief calls the guy over and tells him to stand alittle over shoulder width apart and let the air blow. The Private is now shy so Chief says, C'mon, I know it sounds odd but it works, I will show you so you wont be freaked. Now Chief, drops his pants and letting his junk air in the breeze, so the kid is standing beside him doing the same. Doesnt that feel better son? Yes Sir, it is helping. About this time there are voices outside the door and the real doc is about to come in. Chief, jerks up his pants, tells the kid best of luck and rolls out from under the tent. So now this buck private is half naked, holding his junk, infront of a fan, in a huge tent all by himself, and has to explain what he is doing to this LTC. Funny stuff!!! And its a true story.
          Last edited by Phantom; April 15th, 2009, 10:44 PM.

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          • #20
            LMAO Phantom! 2/2 great posts from you. Keep them coming!

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            • #21
              Phantom, I'm doing a IST to you unit.

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              • #22
                [QUOTE=Recruiter yosis]Phantom, I'm doing a IST to you unit.[/QUOTE]

                Stick my name on that one! Totally worth a move...... Gosh darn I had to cover my mouth to keep from busting out laughing at work!

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                • #23
                  My eyes are wattering after reading that story. That is freaking hilarious. That Warrant sounds like my RSP Nco who was brewing beer under his desk in the armory.

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                  • #24
                    When I was at Fort Knox towards the end there was a week and a half or so of Guidon Stealing Wars between the platoons. Well, at about 3am someone had done something really jacked up so we were preparing for a good company smoking but 3rd Platoon was nowhere to be found. My DS on CQ chose sent someone to go get them so the trainee runs into the barracks. Apparently, 3rd Platoon didn't notice the rest of the company out on the drill pad getting smoked and they thought that this trainee was trying to bait them all outside so the Guidon would be stolen. Words were exchanged, etc. So the trainee comes back outside with the message from 3rd platoon, looks the DS right in the eyes and says, unedited of course, "3rd Platoon said F you drill sergeant!" There was a cold feeling of horror in the air. The DS looked at the rest of us, called us to attention and calmly had us fall out back to our platoon bays to rack out. 3rd platoon on the other hand all but got raped that night. Ya know how you're not supposed to watch someone get smoked cause chances are someone will catch you looking and you'll end up getting smoked for that? Well that rule failed to apply here because we literally had the whole rest of the company at the windows in our respective bays watching out over 3rd platoon as they got absolutely destroyed. I'm talking overhead arm claps for like...35 minutes straight. It was like watching a train wreck.

                    Now, most hooah! thing I've ever done? AWT 8-9, wait- what? haha. I honestly don't know, I'm still somewhat fresh in the military so I haven't had a real opportunity to do a lot of things. I'll be a 13A before long so that'll be exciting I'm sure.

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                    • #25
                      [QUOTE=MBanville]
                      I'll be a 13A before long so that'll be exciting I'm sure.[/QUOTE]

                      Don't count on it. If your FA and not in the field, your not doing anything MOS related.

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                      • #26
                        I hope that's not the case, but if it is- so be it. I got a slot in the 158 HIMARS unit in Oklahoma. If my Google map serves me correctly that's about a 2 and a half hour drive north of you? Heard anything about this unit shutter?

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                        • #27
                          [QUOTE=shutterm4]Don't count on it. If your FA and not in the field, your not doing anything MOS related.[/QUOTE]

                          I wouldnt say thats entirely true. Oviously you wont "live fire" unless in your the field. But you will def be doing MOS related things out of the field.

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                          • #28
                            [QUOTE=MBanville]When I was at Fort Knox towards the end there was a week and a half or so of Guidon Stealing Wars between the platoons. Well, at about 3am someone had done something really jacked up so we were preparing for a good company smoking but 3rd Platoon was nowhere to be found. My DS on CQ chose sent someone to go get them so the trainee runs into the barracks. Apparently, 3rd Platoon didn't notice the rest of the company out on the drill pad getting smoked and they thought that this trainee was trying to bait them all outside so the Guidon would be stolen. Words were exchanged, etc. So the trainee comes back outside with the message from 3rd platoon, looks the DS right in the eyes and says, unedited of course, "3rd Platoon said F you drill sergeant!" There was a cold feeling of horror in the air. The DS looked at the rest of us, called us to attention and calmly had us fall out back to our platoon bays to rack out. 3rd platoon on the other hand all but got raped that night. Ya know how you're not supposed to watch someone get smoked cause chances are someone will catch you looking and you'll end up getting smoked for that? Well that rule failed to apply here because we literally had the whole rest of the company at the windows in our respective bays watching out over 3rd platoon as they got absolutely destroyed. I'm talking overhead arm claps for like...35 minutes straight. It was like watching a train wreck.

                            Now, most hooah! thing I've ever done? AWT 8-9, wait- what? haha. I honestly don't know, I'm still somewhat fresh in the military so I haven't had a real opportunity to do a lot of things. I'll be a 13A before long so that'll be exciting I'm sure.[/QUOTE]

                            I can barely do overhead claps for like 3 minutes without my arms wanting to fall off. 35 minutes and my arms would be like spaghetti.

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                            • #29
                              I don't know anything about that unit. Hopefully you'll be able to get some good training.

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                              • #30
                                Re: Is it True?

                                When I was in the Navy at RCT, we were all stenciling our names on our uniforms in the floor. Someone let out a raunchy fart. And the Petty officer smelled it. He made a horrible face, and said, "That's disgusting recruits." He was so troubled, he continued with, "Suck that Sh!t up recruits." We were like what, and looked at each other, and then laughed. He got all pissed, and said, "You think I'm kidding? I said suck that sh!t up!" Then we all began to inhale. Quess what? It worked! The air was clean in no time.

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