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  • Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

    I have been moving towards joining the NG for a while now. I take the ASVAB in a few weeks. But, the main thing holding me back is my wife (not in a negative way) she only sees the fact that I will be gone for BCT and OCS and Branch training and then PROBABLY getting deployed. Her questions are: why would you want to do this and how will it benefit us? Both logical questions. I can answer the first one, but i find it difficult to answer the second question. Anyone have any ideas/thoughts. thanks.

  • #2
    Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

    More doors and more opportunities will open for you and expose themselves thanks to the military. Most of the time it won't be immediately apparent what kind of opportunities await.

    Are you well established in your current career/job?

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    • #3
      Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

      I have a job right now, but it isnt anything i want to be doing in 8 years. This isnt a financial descision, i want to serve my country. She is looking at it a different way because this wasnt something i planned while in college. She wants to know how it will help us in the long run.

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      • #4
        Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

        Like...raw benefits?

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        • #5
          Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

          Worse comes to worse just divorce her and join.

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          • #6
            Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

            Originally posted by Texas View Post
            I have a job right now, but it isnt anything i want to be doing in 8 years. This isnt a financial descision, i want to serve my country. She is looking at it a different way because this wasnt something i planned while in college. She wants to know how it will help us in the long run.
            So this could open up doors to a better/more enjoyable job. There are officer AGR jobs, although there are very few and they are not easy to get. But the military can also open doors in the civilain world. Our XO just got hired at U-Haul making 85k a year to start as a risk manager(something to that nature). He has a general studies degree, so it's not like he went to school to do that job, it was his military background that got him hired. Plus the two guys who did the hiring are retired 1SG's. So sometimes you just never know how beneficial the military really is to you untill the moment arrives.

            There are a certain set of qualities and traits that military personnel have that civilians don't, can't or have to be trained over a period of time to have.

            1. Built in respect for authority and chain of command. For military members taking orders from a supervisor is what we do all the time. We are also trained to go to your first line supervisor for issues first, and proceed up the chain only after you have given your first line supervisor full opportunity to solve the issue at his/her level.

            2. Sense of urgency when it comes to time lines. In the military we are always asigned a timeline to complete a mission. As leaders we are taught to backwards plan from mission completion on back, so that we can make the most effective use of our time and plan to complete that task ON TIME. Very important skill many civilians never catch on to.

            3. Integrity. Although we have a our fair share of dirt bags in the military I am more inclined to trust a fellow service member than I am a civilian.

            4. Hard work. Every soldier has had at least 9 weeks of hard work before, so it's not a big shock for us or a huge stressor when its crunch time and alot of effort has to be put in a work day or several or many.

            5. Resilliancy. I don't get stressed out too easily with civilian jobs. There really isn't anything that is more stressful or urgent than leading men in a line unit. I can adapt to adverse and austere conditions pretty rapidly in order to complete a mission. So when the pressure mounts we can perform with clarity of thought.

            6. Leadership. Being in the military has given me the chance to manage and coordinate personnel. For my position I manage a squad of 8 men, but on several occasions I've managed as much as 25. How many civilians applying for a job can say the same thing? This has also given me many usefull management skills that are very rare in the civilain world. I have served under some of the best leaders in the world and some of the worst, but I learned alot from both.

            7. Physical fitness. Even the least physically fit soldiers are in better shape than the average civilain. Why is this important you ask? Because better pysical fitness means that person has an outlet for stress, exercise. They have more energy, a higher matabolism, which lends to a better immune system which in turn means that that person gets sick less. Think about it, less sick days, doesn't call off of work as often, more reliable, cheaper to insure.

            There are many other skill and traits that military members posses that give them an edge but these popped into my mind immediately. There are very specific skills that each service member has based in thier individual training and branch. Above is more general.

            Overall military service certainly can imporve your life. There will be tough times, for that you can be certain. It is not easy to leave a significant other for months at a time, or for 12+ months for deployment. Which is why the military is not for everyone. Remember, less than 1% of the population serves in the military.

            Hopefully your wife can come around to the idea of you serving. If it is something you really have a desire and passion to do and are capable, then we need you to join our ranks. Best of luck.

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            • #7
              Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

              I see many benefits to joining and I am the wife in this situation. I am thinking of several benefits and they are listed below.

              1. Your loans could paid off due to the loan repayment program.
              2. Any military service looks good on resume and shows you can stick to a contract.
              3. Your insurance could pay for any other additional children you may have.

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              • #8
                Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

                I will be gone for BCT and OCS and Branch training and then PROBABLY getting deployed. Her questions are: why would you want to do this and how will it benefit us?
                I know exactly where you're at. I am in a pretty good job with good security & good benefits, so the only material benefit is paying off what's left of a small school loan. I've been at this pursuit for way to long now but I think I will be joined up very soon now. In all reality, most of the benefits to my family are not really tangible, but here are a few things you can bring up:
                • If you join and regret it, you can fulfill your contract in 6-8 short years, but if you don't, you will regret it the rest of your life.
                • You will really only probably be gone for BCT, then you could be in a drilling status for the next two years during traditional OCS.
                • Are the freedoms we enjoy worth a little sacrifice, or just worth someone else's sacrifice (it's a whole family sacrifice)
                • She really is serving her country right along side you, especially if you have kids
                • The way things are right now, the National Guard is just a little bit of added security
                • I personally have never met anyone who missed any major opportunities because of military service, especially National Guard (missed occasions yes - but not opportunities) but there are many doors that it opens up

                There are more, but those are some of the top things my wife & I have talked about. Good luck to you.

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                • #9
                  Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

                  You will be making an extra 5 gran a year and finally can buy here the Smart Car she always wanted.

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                  • #10
                    Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

                    All good points, particularly the smart car. I was in the same boat. I'd have to be an active duty LTC to make as much as my civilian job, so when I joined it wasnt about the pay. I didnt get student loan repayment either, so my drill pay is my student loan repayment. Long story short, I had a drive to join, something that wasnt quite explainable and the guard fit what I needed, and aparently I fit what they needed.

                    As far as benefits.. think more about the camaradarie and friends you're going to make. As we speak I'm working on getting someone a job near me that i met in OCS, and became absolutely great friends with. Other classmates are doing the same for others. We're helping out. You're going to make tons of friends and tons of connections. Believe me when I say you wont find much quite like it outside.

                    I always joke about barracks latrines. Only in the military can you walk into a latrine and see every stall door closed and people having deep talks about philosophy, religion, and moral issues meanwhile the paint is peeling off the walls.

                    Even if you hate it years down the road it will be the best memories of your life.

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                    • #11
                      Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

                      My wife was a little uneasy when I first brought up the idea of joining the NG, especially since her parents thought I was making a huge mistake. She and I talked through all the questions she had and she is now fully on board. I would advise you not to strong-arm her into going along with what you want to do, but to make the choice together. It always works better that way- especially in the long term consequences of this choice. One thing that made a big difference for my wife was knowing she's got a great group of friends where we live and has plenty of people to keep her busy and help her out while I'm gone.

                      Its already been said, but you're asking her to make just as big of a sacrifice as what you're wanting to make so make a wise decision based on what's right for your family.

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                      • #12
                        Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

                        Originally posted by bigtex View Post
                        I would advise you not to strong-arm her into going along with what you want to do, but to make the choice together.
                        This is sage advice. Unless you are closing in on the maximum age for what you want to pursue, you still have time on your side. I've actually talked with my wife & taken steps to enlist several times over the last two years. The first time I got a very chilly response, but each time I've brought it up again she warmed to the idea a little more and is now behind me 100%.

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                        • #13
                          Re: Thinking about Joining, but wife usure

                          I joined in 2008, went to BCT in 2009, started OCS Trad program a few months later. Commission on Sunday. I then leave for BOLC early Nov and come back in March. Then I get a month at home and have a month AT. Then a month home. Then an all expense's paid trip to the desert.... My wife hates it. BUT (as was said earlier) this is something we are doing together. I can tell you for certain that I would not have made it through all of OCS w/o her support. Make sure it's right because there will be many challenges that BOTH of you will face on this journey. Good Luck!

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