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  • Telling your mom you want to join.

    So I am a grown man (I'm 21 years old). BUT! If you are like
    Me you are a die hard mommas boy. Also I was born 5 months early so I'm like her "precious diamond" or
    Something of the like. I've tried to talk to her about joining but if I mention the word military or anything
    Dealing with the armed forces she says no and goes on a rant( it's rather annoying) -_-. so anyone got any advice for telling her and my dad?? I've already taken my asvab and this is something I've wanted to do since I was a
    Very young child.

  • #2
    Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

    If you are over 18 it is your choice. If she is a good mother she will come around. Take advantage of being a grown man

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

      Originally posted by iTwitchE View Post
      So I am a grown man (I'm 21 years old). BUT! If you are like
      Me you are a die hard mommas boy. Also I was born 5 months early so I'm like her "precious diamond" or
      Something of the like. I've tried to talk to her about joining but if I mention the word military or anything
      Dealing with the armed forces she says no and goes on a rant( it's rather annoying) -_-. so anyone got any advice for telling her and my dad?? I've already taken my asvab and this is something I've wanted to do since I was a
      Very young child.
      First, and most importantly...gather all your information and research. Get fully informed about the guard, have all the info and benefits in hand before you try and talk again. Next, tell her your goals in life....not just military, but where you want to go...than incorporate how the guard can help get you there and lay on the info you have gathered.

      It may be helpful to approach the conversation together with one of her very close friends or other members of the family....that way she may not be able to explode before she actually listens.

      If all else fails....you're 21, man up..and just do it.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

        I understand this can be a sensitive subject, difficult to approach with some parents. In the end, obviously, it's your choice but you would like to have your parents support. Put down in writing a list of all the positives & negatives for joining, be prepared for the negatives and how to respond. If they're not willing to listen to you, give them the list and then ask them if they're willing to discuss. If, at this point, they're not willing to have a discussion, then you have a decision to make and I believe you know what that is.

        If you're looking for positives, I'm certain the members of this forum would be more than willing to contribute.

        In my experience, it has been the resistant parents that become the most supportive and proud parent in the long run. Best of luck!!

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

          Originally posted by NYGuardRecruiter View Post
          In my experience, it has been the resistant parents that become the most supportive and proud parent in the long run. Best of luck!!
          Excellent response as whole, but this last little part definitely applies to me! My parents fought me the whole way yet here I am and they have supported me 100% since my enlistment. Half the battle is getting them past that initial shock

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

            Originally posted by Reagan View Post
            Excellent response as whole, but this last little part definitely applies to me! My parents fought me the whole way yet here I am and they have supported me 100% since my enlistment. Half the battle is getting them past that initial shock
            My parents are still fighting it and I've already gone to my first drill. I'm guessing and hoping that they will come around after basic and ait (im doing them back to back).

            Good luck with your situation OP

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

              Originally posted by CollegeGuard View Post
              My parents are still fighting it and I've already gone to my first drill. I'm guessing and hoping that they will come around after basic and ait (im doing them back to back).

              Good luck with your situation OP
              Thanks. I've made a list of everything and I can only think of two negatives
              1) dying obviously
              2) being gone for long periods of time( personally I'm ok with it but I know that they won't be)

              anyone have any others from their personal experience? I guess I list my reasons why I want to join as well to see if anyone has anything to add

              1) it's been a goal and dream of mine since I was a young child
              2) it will help pay for the rest of my schooling
              3) I will get hands on training and most if not all my certifications
              4) you get to help people and I'm very big on helping people
              5) serve my my country
              6) protect our freedoms
              7) the uniforms are spiffy
              8) I will have a better sense of pride in myself
              9)I get paid for doing something I actually like to do
              10) you are setting yourself apart from many people in the U.S. by doing a job that people don't want or are not qualified to do.
              anything else anyone want to add please do

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

                Your mother has an emotional reaction, and you marshaling arithmetic and statistical analysis will have not have the desired effect. That will help her after she's calmed down.

                I recommend enlisting, and then telling her about it afterward. If you tell her beforehand, it's actually worse, because then she'll devise all sorts of schemes to prevent you from going through with it, and it just prolongs the agony by giving her false hope. Don't pull the band-aid off one hair at a time, get it over with in one quick, decisive, painful move. If you tell her afterward and present her with a fait accompli, then she can get past the bargaining stage, and move on to depression.

                You must maintain your composure at all times. Remain calm, focused, positive, quiet, but firm. Explain to her that you've given your decision a great deal of thought and careful deliberation, and that you'll always love her. Then hug her as she has her meltdown. Don't get sucked into someone else's drama, maintain enough emotional distance so that you keep your wits about you. A lifeguard's biggest danger is having a drowning victim grab onto him wildly, and then they both drown

                I recommend finding some friends or colleagues in the military whose moms have already gotten over their hysteria. Much of what she needs to hear she can't hear from you, she needs to hear it from a third party, ideally one with whom she identifies. Leverage those moms, and get them to talk to yours after you break the news.

                She'll get over it, she'll be OK, you've just got to endure a few bad days to get there.

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

                  Just join if you want to, but don't forget about why you are joining.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

                    I can't say I agree with not telling her before you enlist, but then again, it does depend on what kind of relationship you have with her and what kind of relationship you wish to maintain. Personally, honesty all around is the best approach, even if she doesn't like it. You are enough of an adult to go through enlistment without her be able to run interference. Just be honest with her. You are an adult, and she is your mother. She will come around and be able to see her emotions for what they are and acknowledge the logic of your decision.

                    I'm not sure if you know about this, but there is a Parents section on the National Guard website that is a great tool to use when you talk to her: Parents

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

                      I am a Mama's Boy as well. Here is what I did. Gave her a letter on Christmas Eve outlining the rationale for me wanting to join the Army. The next week my recruiter came over and told her if she doesn't sign the waiver and I don't have her blessing when I turn 18 he won't enlist me.

                      I would like to think my Christmas Eve letter was what made her sign. She still complains about how I ruined Christmas that year though...

                      Tell her you are enlisting, don't ask, but let her feel like she is involved in your career and life.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

                        Originally posted by dva5222 View Post
                        I am a Mama's Boy as well. Here is what I did. Gave her a letter on Christmas Eve outlining the rationale for me wanting to join the Army. The next week my recruiter came over and told her if she doesn't sign the waiver and I don't have her blessing when I turn 18 he won't enlist me.

                        I would like to think my Christmas Eve letter was what made her sign. She still complains about how I ruined Christmas that year though...

                        Tell her you are enlisting, don't ask, but let her feel like she is involved in your career and life.

                        Ironically I have the letter written sealed and ready to deliver to her. I wrote one for each member of my family. so I hope that it will get m point accross

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

                          I was a man at 17 since my single mother signed my papers at that time for me to join lol.

                          With any delicate subject, you have to address your family with tact, sincerity and maturity. They will love you no matter what.

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                          • #14
                            Re: Telling your mom you want to join.

                            Ok first if you over 18 it's your choice. Read up on the guard I read every day if your dad was in the milatary he should be a little pretected he go though that

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