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  • #16
    Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

    From a military perspective, as in a fighting force that is supposed to be ready to go to war at a moments notice, I would take an out of shape 19 year old male over an out of shape single mother of 2. Thats just comparing those two at face value as you just did. But thats not to say that Sevim would not be of a benefit to the military fighting machine. She just has a lot more obstacles to over come then the just graduated highschool, out of shape young person. Even after both get into good physical shape, the single mother of 2 still has more obstacles then the young person. You can see where this comes into play for a fighting force. Which is exactly why the active duty military does not allow single parents to enlist.

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    • #17
      Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

      Originally posted by SGT Juggernaut View Post
      From a military perspective, as in a fighting force that is supposed to be ready to go to war at a moments notice, I would take an out of shape 19 year old male over an out of shape single mother of 2. Thats just comparing those two at face value as you just did. But thats not to say that Sevim would not be of a benefit to the military fighting machine. She just has a lot more obstacles to over come then the just graduated highschool, out of shape young person. Even after both get into good physical shape, the single mother of 2 still has more obstacles then the young person. You can see where this comes into play for a fighting force. Which is exactly why the active duty military does not allow single parents to enlist.
      It does makes perfect sense

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      • #18
        Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

        Originally posted by robinpugs06
        Ya because so many of our young people that are wanting to join are in good shape
        When I was 18 and reported for basic training, my first APFT score was 64. Yes, two digits. 20 pushups, 30 situps, 21:39 two-mile run. By the end of AIT I was scoring 230-250. By the end of my first deployment (about two and a half years later), I was in the 290s -- and I'm still there. It's a lot easier for young kids to get themselves into shape (and stay in shape) than for a woman approaching middle age.

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        • #19
          Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

          Originally posted by robinpugs06
          It depends on how motivated that woman is. I am a 35 year old woman and can go head to head with many 18 year olds. And how do we know she is approaching middle age with a 3 year old and a 1 year old?
          Well, that is just great. I stand corrected. Indeed, a single woman who is out of shape and is responsible for caring for her two children is exactly what the military is looking for. By sheer willpower, she will cover all twelve of those long miles with a 50 pound ruck in under 3 hours.

          Pardon me for changing the subject, but how exactly are you qualified to be offering advice on this board? What is the extent of your military experience?

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          • #20
            Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

            Bottom line up front: a single mother of two is going to have a difficult time balancing her commitment to her children, life, and Guard.

            I would be wary.

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            • #21
              Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

              Originally posted by robinpugs06
              So, she can't get into shape? How am I qualified to give advice on this board? my personal experience. I may not have kids but I can share my experiences with being out of shape and being determined to get into shape. I was severely overweight and couldn't run for a minute never mind for two miles. I was determined to get into shape and lose weight. I am a 35 year old woman, have lost 85 pounds in 13 months and I can do quite well with sit ups, push up, and running - much better then I could when I was 18 and in basic training and that was right after high school and playing three sports.
              All I am saying is everyone is making assumptions about this woman - she has no one in her life to help with the kids, she is middle aged, she can't juggle the military and caring for her kids.
              He's asking you for your current or past military experience.

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              • #22
                Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                I had a long post here but you know what, never mind it isn't worth it.

                To the OP...Only you know if you can juggle the military and your personal life. I would talk with a recruiter to see if you can enlist being a single mother. If you can, I would then talk to your family and friends and see who would be willing to help and who will be a solid support system for you.
                Last edited by robinpugs06; November 8th, 2012, 12:16 AM.

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                • #23
                  Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                  Originally posted by robinpugs06 View Post
                  My military experience is irrelevant to the fact that people are making assumptions about the OP and they don't even have the whole story. They are also making assumptions about single mothers and their ability to serve honorably.
                  How many people in the military don't have trouble balancing family, kids, life, etc.
                  I am agreeing that it may be difficult and it may not be what the military is looking for- that isn't what I am having a hard time with. I am having a hard time with all the other assumptions. Her being out of shape is irrelevant as she can work on that. Just because she - or someone else - doesn't fit the mold of what you think the military is looking for - 18 year old male in perfect shape with no commitments - doesn't mean they can't join and do quite well.
                  I think it is funny that an out of shape single mother of two wants to join and gets crap from you guys and is told she isn't what the military needs or is looking for. Yet, another person post about all of his criminal offenses and he/she is given a ton of information on if they can join, waivers they might need, and all kinds of other constructive advice. And I can't even tell you how many posts I have read in 3.5 years from people who are overweight and out of shape and they want to know if The Guard will help them get into shape and advice on how to get into shape and they are given tons of info on RSP, ways to get into shape, etc. So, one must assume that what the military is looking for is young out of shape, overweight, convicted criminals but not single mothers?

                  To the OP...Only you know if you can juggle the military and your personal life. I would talk with a recruiter to see if you can enlist being a single mother. If you can, I would then talk to your family and friends and see who would be willing to help and who will be a solid support system for you.
                  I have NEVER offered encouraging words for those with criminal backgrounds who want to join the military.

                  Your military experience (or lack thereof) IS relevant and your refusal to describe it is noted. You are not in a position to offer advice. You should strongly consider reading more and resisting the urge to post.

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                  • #24
                    Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                    Originally posted by robinpugs06
                    It depends on how motivated that woman is. I am a 35 year old woman and can go head to head with many 18 year olds. And how do we know she is approaching middle age with a 3 year old and a 1 year old?
                    My take is that many people think the physical is just two minutes of push-ups and sit-ups and a 2-mile run. Maybe in the NG, you might not get challenged that much physically but there will be ruck marches; obstacle courses, heavy weapons carry; etc. OP, just keep that in mind but again, talk to your recruiter about your options. And to add, the MAJORITY of older enlistees that I have encountered that have come in late into the service; have become physical liabilities. The MAJORITY are on profiles; are getting MEB boards, AND with only two years of service. They are expecting to get a VA check for the rest of their lives.

                    BLUF; if the majority of military retirees end up physically broke due to decades of putting their bodies through physical burdens, how would someone who starts getting physical later in life, not have this happen to them? Statistics have proven my case. That is why the recruiting age is going back down to combat those possible outcomes of older enlistees. It is not about money cutbacks. Overall, older candidates are better mentally since they are more mature than young ones but the military requires brawn over brains.
                    Last edited by Chief Kemosabe; November 8th, 2012, 03:45 AM.

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                    • #25
                      Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                      Jwarren, robinpugs, please take your conversation within a private message. You are getting off topic and I'm about to delete your comments as they are edging on disrespectful.

                      Just a reminder to readers, this is a forum where we value respectful exchange of ideas and information. Members are encourage to share their thoughts without the fear of public ridicule. If you have an issue with a post, it is appropriate to ask, respectfully, for clarification. If you have a problem with a member, there are Moderators available to discuss your concerns privately. Please leave your disrespectful opinions and comments to yourself.

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                      • #26
                        Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                        So to get the thread back on track and echo what SteveLord said, you should talk with a local recruiter and find out if your state is willing to work with you. Every state is different so results will vary. If you can get your stuff together by ways of family care plan and physical shape then the military would love to have you.

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                        • #27
                          Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                          Only you can decide if it is right for you; talk with a recruiter to find out if 1. They can / will work with you in regards to being a single parent. I am speaking from actual experience as I enlisted as a single parent a couple years ago AND I was not exactly a decathlete when I did so.

                          Besides having a Family Care Plan (a plan stating where and with whom your children will go when you are at training, drill and deployment…..they want you to have NO excuse as to why you cannot train and/or deploy) I also had to write a personal statement (apparently something new) explaining WHY I wanted to enlist and how and why it would not disrupt my children’s lives, re-affirming that they would be well-cared for in my absence, therefore absolving my mind from “distracting worry” during training. This went with my waiver application to the TAG who had to sign off basically approving me to enlist.

                          As for training, sure I got in great shape at basic training but I put in A LOT of work the year leading up to it. I did not just want to ‘make it through’ basic, I wanted to excel and train without worrying about keeping up. If you have the opportunity to attend RSP drills, that CAN help, but only a little. The PT test one day and an hour of PT the next is not going to be enough to get a post-baby body ready for Army training. Again, I am speaking from experience.

                          Speaking as a (previous) single mom enlistee (I was married in May) and a soldier, the only thing that gives me pause in your scenario is your children’s ages. MANY female soldiers have children and make it work, but deciding to go down this road when they are at such critical ages will be hard and only you can decide if it worth months away for training, a couple hundred bucks on the weekend and possible deployment.

                          I am in no way trying to deter you, serving was what I was meant to do and I had to wait to do it (37 yrs) but it was well worth it. But speaking as someone who spent 14 years as a single mom; there is SO much I missed I cannot get back. First lost teeth, parties at school, many firsts….working 2 jobs or double shifts, missing moments because I HAD to; I cannot imagine missing those things by choice, even to serve.

                          I was lucky, my kids were 11 and 14 when I enlisted so they not only understood but also supported me and it was STILL hard being at basic training (including reception) for a total of 3 months; I can’t imagine leaving toddlers. All I’m saying is talk to a recruiter, weigh the Pros and Cons and MAKE SURE that what you think you will be gaining is worth what you will be giving up.

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                          • #28
                            Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                            Originally posted by Chris36 View Post
                            Only you can decide if it is right for you; talk with a recruiter to find out if 1. They can / will work with you in regards to being a single parent. I am speaking from actual experience as I enlisted as a single parent a couple years ago AND I was not exactly a decathlete when I did so.

                            Besides having a Family Care Plan (a plan stating where and with whom your children will go when you are at training, drill and deployment…..they want you to have NO excuse as to why you cannot train and/or deploy) I also had to write a personal statement (apparently something new) explaining WHY I wanted to enlist and how and why it would not disrupt my children’s lives, re-affirming that they would be well-cared for in my absence, therefore absolving my mind from “distracting worry” during training. This went with my waiver application to the TAG who had to sign off basically approving me to enlist.

                            As for training, sure I got in great shape at basic training but I put in A LOT of work the year leading up to it. I did not just want to ‘make it through’ basic, I wanted to excel and train without worrying about keeping up. If you have the opportunity to attend RSP drills, that CAN help, but only a little. The PT test one day and an hour of PT the next is not going to be enough to get a post-baby body ready for Army training. Again, I am speaking from experience.

                            Speaking as a (previous) single mom enlistee (I was married in May) and a soldier, the only thing that gives me pause in your scenario is your children’s ages. MANY female soldiers have children and make it work, but deciding to go down this road when they are at such critical ages will be hard and only you can decide if it worth months away for training, a couple hundred bucks on the weekend and possible deployment.

                            I am in no way trying to deter you, serving was what I was meant to do and I had to wait to do it (37 yrs) but it was well worth it. But speaking as someone who spent 14 years as a single mom; there is SO much I missed I cannot get back. First lost teeth, parties at school, many firsts….working 2 jobs or double shifts, missing moments because I HAD to; I cannot imagine missing those things by choice, even to serve.

                            I was lucky, my kids were 11 and 14 when I enlisted so they not only understood but also supported me and it was STILL hard being at basic training (including reception) for a total of 3 months; I can’t imagine leaving toddlers. All I’m saying is talk to a recruiter, weigh the Pros and Cons and MAKE SURE that what you think you will be gaining is worth what you will be giving up.
                            THank you for giving her great info from a single mom's view point. You have given some great input.

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                            • #29
                              Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                              Originally posted by robinpugs06 View Post
                              THank you for giving her great info from a single mom's view point. You have given some great input.
                              I will be 30 in May 27th. I was searching on craigslist. I saw the post about NG. I am frighten to speak to recruiter because in 2000, 2003, and 2006. I felt Navy recuriters are salers. My early 20s, I was adviced from Navy recruiter to take my Associate degree before enter the military. I was homeless in NYC to have a roof in my head even if I had two jobs. I was transferred to Cali. I entered Heald College, then I got pregnant. I came from abusived Aunt and molested Uncle. I ran away when I turned 18. I wanted to leave as I turned 14. I didnt want to have missing child report. I separated from my ex fiance. I was moving constantly, it was hard to stay focus in school, work, and moving from room to rooms. Shelter to shelters. I have no relatives and friends in NYC and Cali. In 2005, I used to send money to my biological mom. I was told that I have Post truamatic Stress Disoder from my childhood negative experiences and 1 bad relationship. I know I am truama from a man who want a child and abandon after. The person got confused by another woman. I depart from him because I cared for my future and my child to not suffer liked I had. I was dissapointed in me that I couldnt get into Navy. Thought of NG because the age limit is until 38. For the reason why I wanted to go to NG because I need help in school. My situation right now, I am under collection and student loans are increasing. I cannot have 2 jobs like I did in NYC. I had 3 jobs in 2006, I started meeting wrong people. Now that I have a child, secure daycare and babysitting is a problem to me. If I return to work or school, who will pick my kid, etc. I got fired from work because of lateness. I was dropped out of college. I stayed in Concord, CA since 2010 for my child to her dad. Now she is 4. She barely see her dad. It would be harder to not see me that often and her dad. I need to go back to school. I cannot return to school without paying my student loans. It will take years to pay it off. My mom is around her 70. I feel it is a dead end to me before I read on Craigslist. I cared for my kid before entering HS, I dont mind to get deploy. My concern is the ASVAB test is my weakness to pass a high score. I was dropped but I am determine to finish from what I had started is Medical coding and billing. I want to know if you gut offer help to pass the asvab test. After I gave birth to my child, I have astma. I use v.pump for breathing (I do not use it as often though, only when I get cold/flu).

                              Thank you for reading this. I am curious of your insight for my side.

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                              • #30
                                Re: Can a single mother of 2 join?

                                Hello sevim i think its not a right decision if you joined because you are a mother of the baby..if you joined then you can not take care properly of your child thats why i can not say to join it..no doubt its a good job but not good or satisfy for you...


                                counting scales
                                Last edited by Mlko222; January 5th, 2013, 10:44 AM.

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