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  • I missed my swear in day

    Hi,

    So I've been wanting to join the guard for months now. I admittedly take a long time to weigh things out, talk to the recruiter think about it, ask a question think about it some more etc. It's a very tough decision and not one that I can easily just jump into. I took my ASVAB and scored a 99. then about 2 months later I went through MEPS and passed the physical portion. I didn't get to swear in that day because the office person noticed that I didn't have all of my paper work complete so she sent me back to the recruiter. I think I was missing a clear picture of my birth certificate and some missing work history.

    After I fixed everything with the recruiter I asked if I could have some more time to think before I went back to swear in. He said that was fine and that there was no rush. So I took a good month or two after that before coming back. I was in the middle of switching jobs and I just wanted everything to settle down before I took something else on. Anyway, I said I was ready and then when the day came I just froze. I didn't go, I woke up at 5am and couldn't make myself go through it. 2 hours went by and my recruiter asks what happened and respond with that I hesitated and froze. I got cold feet at the last minute.

    Did I ruin it? He won't talk to me now and I guess thinks I'm a lost cause. I admit I took forever to decide and this didn't help things but I really think this is something I want to do and want to swear in I just froze, it was stupid and I apologized repeatedly.

    Is there anything I can do? I've made it so far and don't want to just give up but my recruiter has made it very clear that he is done. I think he really feels disrespected by me not going to the swear in. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

    Thank you,

  • #2
    Re: I missed my swear in day

    Having cold feet happens to people, it's better that it happened before you joined instead of while you were waiting to ship out. But your recruiter probably wont want to work with you since you did waste his time and made him look stupid by having a scheduled you for MEPS and then had a "no show". Also the fact that you didn't call the recruiter right away and instead just didnt show up doesn't help your case. It's a number game with recruiters, he can't waste more time on someone who is wishywashy, he has to just move on to the next person who actually wants to serve. You'll probably have to do something to show him you were really serious before he worked with you again.

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I missed my swear in day

      Originally posted by HR NCO View Post
      Having cold feet happens to people, it's better that it happened before you joined instead of while you were waiting to ship out. But your recruiter probably wont want to work with you since you did waste his time and made him look stupid by having a scheduled you for MEPS and then had a "no show". Also the fact that you didn't call the recruiter right away and instead just didnt show up doesn't help your case. It's a number game with recruiters, he can't waste more time on someone who is wishywashy, he has to just move on to the next person who actually wants to serve. You'll probably have to do something to show him you were really serious before he worked with you again.

      Yea, I was thinking the same thing. I actually went to the MEPS building the next day to try and show him I was serious. I asked him what I could do, volunteer or something. What do you think I could do? This sounds really corny but I actually thought about sending pizza to their office. I'm afraid to just show up to the office because that could create a confrontation that just reinforces his hate for me because he would just tell me what a mistake I made and probably to just leave. I thought about calling the MEPS office and apologizing there and asking if the office lady would talk to him for me or trying to get another recruiter to talk to him and tell him that I realize I made a mistake.

      My parents think I'm being too apologetic. Since I also used a lot of my time. I was the last one to leave the ASVAB testing center at night, I stayed in a hotel waiting for MEPS physical at 6am, got my blood drawn, had some one watch me pee. Multiple visits to the recruiter's office. I bought books on ASVAB and have been running and training to get in shape. So I've invested time too.

      If anyone has an idea of some kind of gesture I can make to prove my commitment please let me know.

      Thanks.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I missed my swear in day

        Originally posted by RandNum View Post
        Yea, I was thinking the same thing. I actually went to the MEPS building the next day to try and show him I was serious. I asked him what I could do, volunteer or something. What do you think I could do? This sounds really corny but I actually thought about sending pizza to their office. I'm afraid to just show up to the office because that could create a confrontation that just reinforces his hate for me because he would just tell me what a mistake I made and probably to just leave. I thought about calling the MEPS office and apologizing there and asking if the office lady would talk to him for me or trying to get another recruiter to talk to him and tell him that I realize I made a mistake.

        My parents think I'm being too apologetic. Since I also used a lot of my time. I was the last one to leave the ASVAB testing center at night, I stayed in a hotel waiting for MEPS physical at 6am, got my blood drawn, had some one watch me pee. Multiple visits to the recruiter's office. I bought books on ASVAB and have been running and training to get in shape. So I've invested time too.

        If anyone has an idea of some kind of gesture I can make to prove my commitment please let me know.

        Thanks.
        '

        First you skipped your swear in day, you didn't miss it. Second, man up and go to the office.

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I missed my swear in day

          One of many early lessons in the military. If you cannot attend a military event or training or are going to be late, ALWAYS CALL AND LET THEM KNOW. This seemingly obvious courtesy goes a long way and can be the difference between having a return of flexibility from your superiors or not having it.

          The "gesture" would be to show up in person and talk to him. Inquire about where you go from here. If he does not want to work with you, request another recruiter or find one yourself.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I missed my swear in day

            Originally posted by ajdeployed12 View Post
            '

            First you skipped your swear in day, you didn't miss it. Second, man up and go to the office.

            Yes, I skipped it. I ditched it. failed to show up. I really messed it up. I admit that.

            And I will go to the office.
            Last edited by RandNum; September 1st, 2012, 07:35 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I missed my swear in day

              Go to the air national guard. The Army needs leaders and strong-minded and willed people. Swearing in is a very serious event and we are a serious organization. McDonalds wont give you a second chance at that stage so why should we? I say grow up some more.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: I missed my swear in day

                Originally posted by fmcityslicker View Post
                Go to the air national guard. The Army needs leaders and strong-minded and willed people. Swearing in is a very serious event and we are a serious organization. McDonalds wont give you a second chance at that stage so why should we? I say grow up some more.
                I think applying to McDonalds and an 8 year commitment are two different things and people understand that. But if what you're saying is true that's fine, that's what I'm wondering. I've seen mixed responses and it seems like it is very dependent on the situation and the recruiter. It doesn't sound like there is an official rule barring military recruits from joining who failed to sign paperwork like there is for height and weight requirements and ASVAB scores. I'll just play it by ear and if it doesn't work out move on!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: I missed my swear in day

                  Originally posted by RandNum View Post
                  I think applying to McDonalds and an 8 year commitment are two different things and people understand that. But if what you're saying is true that's fine, that's what I'm wondering. I've seen mixed responses and it seems like it is very dependent on the situation and the recruiter. It doesn't sound like there is an official rule barring military recruits from joining who failed to sign paperwork like there is for height and weight requirements and ASVAB scores. I'll just play it by ear and if it doesn't work out move on!

                  Exactly his point! They ARE different and if McDonald's wouldn't give you the time of day after not showing up for Orientation (Swear In) why would the Army? They have plenty of people to spends thousands of dollars in training on that won't quit, especially without even a phone call.

                  On a separate note: ARNG enlistments are 8 years?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: I missed my swear in day

                    Originally posted by ajdeployed12 View Post
                    ...On a separate note: ARNG enlistments are 8 years?
                    ARNG Obligation are 8 years like all branches of the military. It's 6x2 however. 6 years drilling, 2 years IRR.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: I missed my swear in day

                      Originally posted by ajdeployed12 View Post
                      Exactly his point! They ARE different and if McDonald's wouldn't give you the time of day after not showing up for Orientation (Swear In) why would the Army? They have plenty of people to spends thousands of dollars in training on that won't quit, especially without even a phone call.

                      On a separate note: ARNG enlistments are 8 years?

                      Because McDonalds doesn't send you to Afghanistan for one. I don't think Afghanistan has them yet(interesting map of McDonalds locations: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mc...ations_map.PNG). And yes it is an 8 year commitment so be absolutely sure before you sign on.
                      Last edited by RandNum; September 3rd, 2012, 12:22 AM.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: I missed my swear in day

                        Originally posted by RandNum View Post
                        Because McDonalds doesn't send you to Afghanistan for one. I don't think Afghanistan has them yet(interesting map of McDonalds locations: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Mc...ations_map.PNG). And yes it is an 8 year commitment so be absolutely sure before you sign on.
                        I believe he's referring to the fact that if a place as "easy" as McDondalds wouldn't give you a second chance, how can you expect a place as "hard" as the Army to give you one. Regardless however, your best bet is to do a bit of soul searching as to why you got cold feet in the first place. Only when you determine that it would not happen again should you speak with a recruiter, because not only did you waste the recruiter's time, you gave him a reason to doubt you. If you can't be expected to meet your swear in, how can you be expected to show up on your ship date? How can he expect you to show up for deployment, for combat?

                        With the wars ending and the economy the military can afford to be selective, so don't expect the recruiters to be begging you to come back. If you truly believe this is what you want, go to the recruiters, badger them, beg them, go to a different recruiter or branch if you have to, but prove to them that you can be a reliable Soldier.

                        Whatever decision you make in life, I wish you the best of luck. But please, do yourself a favor and evaluate the reason behind why you skipped your swear in. It would do the you, and the Army, no good if you were to make a hasty decision.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: I missed my swear in day

                          Originally posted by RandNum View Post
                          Because McDonalds doesn't send you to Afghanistan for one. I don't think Afghanistan has them yet.
                          Yeah they are over here, I saw one as I went through BAF.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: I missed my swear in day

                            Originally posted by National poG View Post
                            I believe he's referring to the fact that if a place as "easy" as McDondalds wouldn't give you a second chance, how can you expect a place as "hard" as the Army to give you one. Regardless however, your best bet is to do a bit of soul searching as to why you got cold feet in the first place. Only when you determine that it would not happen again should you speak with a recruiter, because not only did you waste the recruiter's time, you gave him a reason to doubt you. If you can't be expected to meet your swear in, how can you be expected to show up on your ship date? How can he expect you to show up for deployment, for combat?

                            With the wars ending and the economy the military can afford to be selective, so don't expect the recruiters to be begging you to come back. If you truly believe this is what you want, go to the recruiters, badger them, beg them, go to a different recruiter or branch if you have to, but prove to them that you can be a reliable Soldier.

                            Whatever decision you make in life, I wish you the best of luck. But please, do yourself a favor and evaluate the reason behind why you skipped your swear in. It would do the you, and the Army, no good if you were to make a hasty decision.

                            Roger all of that. I wish everyone the best of luck you guys rock and you have major cajones. Later!

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: I missed my swear in day

                              Originally posted by Marine2Guard View Post
                              Yeah they are over here, I saw one as I went through BAF.
                              And the famous one in Kuwait!

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