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  • Where do I come home to?

    Im going to attempt to make this make sense. Im 33, I have 3 kids and I live in central Illinois. I am not with the kids mom, we were never married but I see the kids on a regular basis (about 50% of the time I have them). I am not enlisted yet but am working that way. Recently she told me she is moving to western Missouri (like 6 hours away or something). Obviously I want to see my kids when Im "home" which brings me to my problem. I currently rent my house in Illinois. Should I find a house to rent in Missouri so that when Im on leave I have somewhere to go? Paying for it the whole time Im deployed but not really using it? It doesnt make that much sense to rent a house when Im only using it for 30 days a year. I guess I could do one of those crappy 30 day hotel rental deals. Regardless I dont want "home" to be 6 hours from my kids, I have nothing keeping me here so common sense tells me that my "home" should be over in Missouri where the kids are. How do I accomplish this? Any advice? (P.S. obviously this refers to active duty)

  • #2
    Re: Where do I come home to?

    Uh...confused. You're enlisting in the Guard, yes? So you'll be back in a few months after IET. What is this "leave" to which you refer?

    If you're trying to plan ahead for a deployment, what you could do (and I have done this myself -- twice) is have a friend or family member "lease" you a room in his/her home and make that your home of record. Make sure it's someone responsible because you'll want to change your address (drivers license, credit cards, everything) to this location. This will keep your affairs in order and will also let you receive a housing allowance while you're deployed, since you'll have the lease agreement.

    But for now, just focus on the 25m target: enlisting and successfully completing your IET.

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    • #3
      Re: Where do I come home to?

      This is a Army National Guard forum, which primarily addresses questions of potential and current reserve component soldiers. Lets make sure we understand what you are postulating here. You are considering active duty service, and are ostensibly giving up your current 50/50 custody agreement with your children's mother while she takes primary residency in a state other than where you all live now. You want to know if it would be a good idea to rent a house near your children's mother where you could stay with the kids during the leave you eventually obtain while on AD.

      1. I make it a point not to give marital or relationship advice on this forum. You have to decide if leaving your children for Fort Sill, Korea, Germany, or Fort Lewis (as examples), is the right fit for you.
      2. That also answers the question about where your "home" is. When you enlist into active duty, the Army tells you where your home is. I'm not refering to deployments in this case, just your duty station.
      3. Frankly, if you are willing to "pack up and join the Army", you might as well simply plan on having your children visit you during leaves. 3 - 6 planned airline tickets a year isn't a big deal in the grand scheme. Have them come for the summer and utilize the MWR opportunities on post in combination with leave.
      4. Attempting to rent a house you don't live in on entry level Army pay while simultaneously (I assume) paying child support won't be convienent, and honestly not cost effective. I suppose you could get creative, but it's difficult on a PFC's salary.
      5. You are a dependancy waiver given you have 3 children that you do not retain custody of, but (again I assume) are required by court order to pay child support.
      6. What is the impetus for you to enlist in the Army in the first place?

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      • #4
        Re: Where do I come home to?

        Originally posted by jwarren View Post
        If you're trying to plan ahead for a deployment, what you could do (and I have done this myself -- twice) is have a friend or family member "lease" you a room in his/her home and make that your home of record. Make sure it's someone responsible because you'll want to change your address (drivers license, credit cards, everything) to this location. This will keep your affairs in order and will also let you receive a housing allowance while you're deployed, since you'll have the lease agreement.
        I hope those that are "leasing" you a room are claiming all that rental income on their taxes. Otherwise, this is a fraudulent act as an attempt to defraud the government of money for BAH. If they suspect fraud, they can ask for the tax return documenation and/or copies of cashed checks for rent.

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        • #5
          Re: Where do I come home to?

          Originally posted by HR NCO View Post
          I hope those that are "leasing" you a room are claiming all that rental income on their taxes. Otherwise, this is a fraudulent act as an attempt to defraud the government of money for BAH. If they suspect fraud, they can ask for the tax return documenation and/or copies of cashed checks for rent.
          Whether or not the soldier uses the lease agreement for the purposes of collecting BAH comes with responsibilities and is up to him. But if he is not going to actually lease an apartment while he's deployed then he will need to change his address to that of a friend or family member so he can still receive bills, statements, etc.

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