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  • how do i convince my boyfriend to be okay with me leaving for BCT and AIT

    I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years, lived together for 2.5 and i dont think he would be supportive of me leaving for that amount of time, we have never been apart from each other for longer that 5 days since we moved in together and it was only because i had a death in my family and had to travel across the country. i think he would see it as me wanting to get away from him for awhile. if anyone can help me figure out a way to get him to be okay with it id appreciate the advice. id prefer to get through this with him if i can, but i think he might just break up with me for it.

  • #2
    You need to take control of your career. If he doesn't support it, then he doesn't support your career. From your post, I detect that there is nothing hindering you, financially/emotionally/etc, from going. It's only him. He needs to be on your side and needs to support you, that's the point of a relationship. You don't throw away things that become difficult, you fix them.

    If he would break up with you because you are going to Basic Training to serve your country, then in all honesty, he's not worth it.

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    • #3
      ^^ This. I have two kids and have been with my girlfriend for three years, as well. Our oldest is a defiant but brilliant problem child. We're potty training him now and she's going through hell while I sit and get to work in a climate controlled office all day. We also have a two month old daughter who requires all the attention a breastfed baby needs. Compounding this is the fact that she doesn't drive. I am her sole means of transportation. I am also the only one who brings in money and makes sure the bills are paid. I do what I can with the kids but if I have to work overtime she's with them both, 24 hours a day, almost. Despite all this, she continues to support me. She knows how important this is to me. She knows that I've been dreaming about being in the military since I was a little boy. If you feel as strongly as I do let him know, and go from there. He's either going to be with you on this or not.

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      • #4
        Kayfunkay, the idea that he would break up with you if you pursue the opportunities the Guard offers is troubling to me. You mentioned that he might see it as you "wanting to get away from him for a while." If he loves you and truly wants you to be happy, he would support your going even if he was going to miss you terribly. I cannot help but think that if you let fear of him breaking up with you hold you back, one of two things are going to happen: you two will break up over something else entirely OR you will stay together and you will grow to resent him as a result of not having taken on new challenges and adventures when you could have. At some point, you will be too old to serve. Don't be the person who looks back and wonders "what if?" about Guard service or other things that you want to do with your life. I wish you the very best as you struggle with this, but there is no easy answer or magic words to "make him okay" about you leaving, plus, once you are in the Guard, you could have the opportunity to attend a cool school, get deployed overseas, or mobilized in your state. Are you going to have to talk him into "giving permission" for you to serve without having to worry about him and your relationship. If you were my friend, sister or daughter, I would urge you to think hard about your goals in life and needing to cajole someone to "give permission" to you .

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