National Guard and Family

[Mooch]

Hey everyone. I would like to ask some opinions about family life and the NG. I am 33yrs old, married, and have 3 kids. I have always wanted to be a soldier, but never followed through with the desire. After looking into this and talking about it with my family (wife,parents,in-laws), I am still really torn over what to do.
On the one hand, I have a desire to serve my country, and experience things that are going on in the world, and do something more with my life than I currently am. But with that, I have the normal fears about the unknown, as well as the guilt I feel about leaving my family behind. And guilt may be the wrong word to use there, but the thought of not seeing my wife and kids for long periods of time is pretty hard for me, as im sure it is for every person with a family. Now, I know there are a lot of families in the NG, and I would really like some input from people that may be in, or have been in the same boat as me. How has the NG impacted your family lives? How do you deal with the family separation? If you had it to do all over again, would you?
Thanks for taking the time to read my super long post, and I appreciate any input.

[dancersoldier]

my situation isn't exactly the same. i'm in a relationship, but not married. but after reading the two previous posts i had to respond. i am only 21 but have been wanting to join the military since my senior year of high school. but for a million reasons including parents i didn't do it. last year i started looking into the guard and got as close as scheduling a trip to MEPS and i freaked out and got cold feet and cancelled it all. i have regretted doing that so much. after reading ya'lls posts i realize that a desire like this is not going to go away even if i di have a family and a career. bburgi, hopefully your wife will understand and support this decision!

[LT_77]

I love my family, I have a wife and daughter. My wife has been there for me through a deployment and many 2 week, month, 2 month seperations. She understands it is my job, and she also understands that in order for me to perform at my best I need her support. In a job like this, where you are gone periodically and where you have to deal with the uncertain you need a strong relationship with your spouse and kids, and there has to be trust there too.

Having said all that, you have to have it in your mind that THIS is what you want to do, not because of what anyone else wants you to do, but because YOU want to serve. Not because you have to, or because you want to check the block, but because it is what you believe in. If you are honest with yourself, and are dedicated hopefully your family will go along with you and support you 100%, even when the tough times of seperation come along.

I will tell you, it is all or nothing though. You cannot question or doubt what you are doing in this job, and I've seen how that affects Soliders negatively, especially when they are deployed. You have to be in it to win it. It might sound a bit selfish (and I don't think this would happen), but if my wife ever came to me with the ultimatum of "pick me or the Army", she knows the Army would come first. She knows I love her and support her, but I do that because I love being a Soldier and nothing or no person can take that away from me, even her. I've seen too many good Soliders get out because of marital problems, only to come back in later.

Bottom line, make sure they are on board and then go for it!

[SteveLord]

I graduated highschool, married my wife (10years older than me) 6 months later, shipped to basic a week after that.

Then after graduation, I did an IST from the quiet suburbs of Iowa to the noisy city lifestyle of North Jersey.

Did airport security for a week a month later...and then deployed to Cuba a year later.

My son was born a month premature, and I missed his birth by a day. My wife spent the first 5 months of his life, alone with him. And I missed all that.

10 months after I returned home, I had a daughter born...making my kids 13 months apart.

Finished my technical school course, got a fulltime job as an IT Admin. My wife is a full time nurse.

My kids are 3 and 2 now and are both healthy, intelligent and well entertained.

You have 10 years on me...so I think if someone like me can do all that...you'll be fine.

Good luck. ;)

[Jmiranda_Cav]

I think the LT said it best. Its gotta be all or nothing.