How do you do it?

[dixielady_91]

I have a really close friend in AIT, and i haven't seen him for 7 months. for those of you who've already went through this, how do you deal with missing them so much?

[VTguard]

Being away from loved ones is a fact of life in the Military. Staying in contact by writing letters, phone calls and email (when possible) helps you (and him) to deal with the time apart. Looking forward to returning is the motivation that keeps soldiers going when gone for training and deployed to a combat zone. It is often difficult, but life has to go on for both of you. It is just one of the many sacrifices that soldiers must make to defend our freedom.

[lablover]

my daughter was in basic for 9 weeks (I got through it by writing and her calling) then went out for her graduation.
She is still there for AIT for an additional 10 weeks.

I write her letters, scarp book pages of her. When I'm not writing to her, I write about her. Memories I have of her before she left, funny things she may have said. I also go into her room and just sit.
She is only gone for a short time, by her choice, not mine. so I keep telling myself that "she" chose to do this

Keep smiling, it helps

[mercedesarmygirl]

I know it's not the easy having someone in the military. I have a friend that was deployed a couple of months ago. I really miss him. I just try to email him every chance i get. Sometimes just talking about it to someone helps. I haven't heard from my friend in quite a while. Im really worried about him. Hopefully he's okay. Anyways just try writing to your friend whenever you can. When you get worried just try talking to someone about it. Just say a little prayer. That really helps.

[WIBecky74]

From someone on the other end (been at bct/ait for four months now, home on 16 day exodus) letters, letters, and more letters...emails and phone calls now. Its very true, dreaming about that homecoming is what makes it worth it. While at bct my long term boyfriend who is full time guard got transferred units (hour away and only home on weekends now) because of a SFC promotion and also got deployment orders to happen in a year. Its part of the job. You either deal well or you dont. He will eventually get transferred back 'home' and his 12 month tour will eventually end...probably with me going right when he gets back. You either live the life or you buck it. Living it makes it easier. I understand the army comes first in his life. He has been career for 22 years. I have to accept it. Think i'll go take a nap and dream about ait graduation and that homecoming. :)

[ANGMom2008]

my daughter was in basic for 9 weeks (I got through it by writing and her calling) then went out for her graduation.
She is still there for AIT for an additional 10 weeks.

I write her letters, scarp book pages of her. When I'm not writing to her, I write about her. Memories I have of her before she left, funny things she may have said. I also go into her room and just sit.
She is only gone for a short time, by her choice, not mine. so I keep telling myself that "she" chose to do this

Keep smiling, it helps

Oh my goodness.... I am so glad it's not just me that goes and sits in my daughter's room. She is just 17 years old, will be a senior in high school next year... and she has been gone at BCT (Ft. Jackson) since June 10th. I've got a little less than a month to go before I will get to see her on Family Day and then graduation day.

Your experience sounds quite similar to mine! I write my daugther a letter at least once a day, and often write to others about her inbetween. For some reason, writing her letters makes me feel closer to her..... It is a great comfort to know that I am not the only mom that will simply go sit in her room... I keep telling myself that I will go in there and clean it up for her, but everytime I try, something stops me. Call me crazy, but the mess reminds me of her and somehow makes her feel closer......

I'm here if you ever want to chat with a mom that misses her daughter just as much!

[LT_77]

I've been done quite a few times, for short and long periods of time since coming into the Army (Active Duty and now full time Guard). For the longer separations, you can't forget your loved one(s) (whether you are the one at home or the one away), but you have to be independent and learn to live your own life for that period of time. Sitting around (on either end) sulking and pacing the floor does nothing. Use that time to pursue personal interests, pick up hobbies and your own daily schedule. When you are reunited, integration will be strange at first but over time will happen. It's just the way it is.

[Katy]

I would also like to know how people do it. My boyfriend left for Basic 2 and a half weeks ago, and its killing me. I got his address and have mailed him a letter everynight since i got it. I havent gotten one back from him yet though, so it is really hard, and i dk how people do it, especially parents with their kids. It's Nuts!