Would you have or would enlist if Your entire family was against it?

[jrm1988]

Your entire family was against it?

It's all I've wanted to do, since I was 15 (almost 21 now) and my family is against it and thinks I shouldnt do it.. and that 6 years is just too much to sign away....

I mean, It's my choice and I still plan on enlisting when I get in good enough shape so that I can run 2 miles in 15min. but it makes it hard having everyone against my decision and not happy with me... and Def. wont be happy in any way when I leave.

So would having your entire family against your choice, alter/effect you in any way?

[shutterm4]

You need to do what makes you happy.

[SteveLord]

You need to do what makes you happy.

Well, it depends. He is young and has no responsibilities other than himself. So obviously, this would apply. Try the same thing with your wife and kids and see how far that goes.

By the way, its 8 years.

[PFC Lowe]

I did it. It was real tough on my girlfriend and not so tough on my family, but my family got over it and so did my girlfriend. Also, why wait until you cann run 2 miles in 15 minutes? Depending on your MOS, you might be putting off enlisting for another 3 months and then still have a ship date 11 months down the line. Just enlist and work while you wait. If you can't run a 15 minute 2 mile before BCT, oh well, just work on your time there. I went from a 16 min 2 mile at the beginning to a 14:22 at the end and we did hardly any running.

[Agent.Fox]

If they love you they well support you. They may say the won't but the well why would they lose a son of something so small.

[PFC Lowe]

Look in the family support forum. I made a post which included a link to another forum that is good for support.

[jrm1988]

PFC Lowe, My plan is to enlist this fall, within the next month or so, have a ship date for march or april of next year...but I thought I'd have to run at drill.. so I was going to work on that so I wasnt lagging behind. I used to run 2 miles around 14 even but I've gotten lazy of the past few years.:o


And about them supporting me, my mom is the main person, she believe's it is morally wrong to be a part of something directly related to the Gov. as to where I may be ordered to take another human's life... And if I didnt join, I wouldnt have that to worry about. That's her main thing, she doesn't believe it's right, religously.

The rest of my family, say's "the contract is TOO long for your first time in, you'll end up in a combat zone and regret your choice or wont be able to handle the stress... you're not ready... and so on. If the Army had a 1 year contract and then you're out.. my family would be all for it, except mom.

I mean, I figure, they wont disown me and it'll get better with time.. so Im trying not to sweat it too bad, it just ***** that no one is behind me on this, being it is a life/family life changing choice and a BIG one for me.

[Mom's Mistake]

I had my entire family not wanting me to join the Marines back when I was still in high school. My mother was so against it that she threatened to disown me and anytime the Marine recruiter would show up, she'd scowl and leave the room. But I stood by my decision to join.

At boot camp, I remember the day the DI (DS for you Army folks) said to us that if one of our parents comes up to thank them for all their help in making us Marines, they would put our parents in their place and tell them it's us they should be thanking. I laughed in my mind knowing my parents were so against me joining, they'd never even think to thank the DIs.
Tell you what....came graduation day, I never seen my parents so proud of me. My parents both went up to my DIs and thanked them. My jaw dropped. Ever since then, they've been proud of me. Both of them even sported the T-shirts and bumper stickers that their "son is a Marine".
What changed their minds? I stood my ground on joining and I had very good reasons of joining. Education, experience, college money, etc. And I proved to them that I was adult enough to make a decision for myself and follow through with it all the way to the end not asking for their help.

Now...I'm trying to enlist in the ARNG while we have two wars going on. My mother, again, isn't very happy about it...but now I'm 30 years old and much wiser to the ways of the military. So I'm not getting the grief of 12 years ago, but instead my mother is supporting my choice and knows what I'm doing is the right decision for myself. And the rest of my family...they're supporting me this time too.

So after my short essay here....to answer your question is that you need to do what you want to do for yourself and follow through with it. Your family can either support you or stay against your decision....either way...they'll still love you no matter what. And unless you have a Jerry Springer family (which it sounds like you really don't), I doubt they'll disown you.

[PFC Lowe]

PFC Lowe, My plan is to enlist this fall, within the next month or so, have a ship date for march or april of next year...but I thought I'd have to run at drill.. so I was going to work on that so I wasnt lagging behind. I used to run 2 miles around 14 even but I've gotten lazy of the past few years.:o

Ship dates don't always happen that way. I wanted to get out ASAP. I enlisted in 11/07 and the earliest ship date was 10/08. During RSP you will only run 1 mile and there will be people, males and females who run 10+ minute miles. When I went to my final RSP for gold phase we had to help grade the recruits 1-1-1 test and I saw males who could not do 10 PU and both ***es who couldn't do 15 SU. Don't worry about lagging behind, if you can run an 8 minute mile you will likely be around the middle of the pack.


And about them supporting me, my mom is the main person, she believe's it is morally wrong to be a part of something directly related to the Gov. as to where I may be ordered to take another human's life... And if I didnt join, I wouldnt have that to worry about. That's her main thing, she doesn't believe it's right, religously.

There is a reason why this country is where it is today. Someone had to stand up and be ready to sacrifice their own life or take the life of another if necessary. Ask your mom if she remembers 9/11. Are we supposed to just sit back and let that attack go or do something about it and bring down those responsible for the death of 3000+ innocent?

The rest of my family, say's "the contract is TOO long for your first time in, you'll end up in a combat zone and regret your choice or wont be able to handle the stress... you're not ready... and so on. If the Army had a 1 year contract and then you're out.. my family would be all for it, except mom.

Not everyone deploys within their contract. My recruiter (who was only recruiting for about a year by the time I talked with him) never deployed in his 18 years of service in the ARNG. One of my DS from OSUT has been in over 20 years and has also never deployed. Remember, the Army does not just pick people up off the streets, give them an M4 and give them a 1 way ticket to Iraq. You go through BCT to learn to deal with stress. While it may or may not give you everything you need to deal with the stress of combat (I have never been to speak from experience), it will prepare you.

I mean, I figure, they wont disown me and it'll get better with time.. so Im trying not to sweat it too bad, it just ***** that no one is behind me on this, being it is a life/family life changing choice and a BIG one for me.

My response in bold

[jrm1988]

My response in bold

Thank you.. About your last response, that's exactly what my dad says. "You'll be soon on your way to the sand box as soon as taining is over, just wait and see!"

I tried telling them that the odds of that are slim to none, also, if it happens, my odds of dying arent as much as me dying in a car crash driving to work/school...

But I'll never get them to understand, they just tell me to shut up and do what I want. lol.

I was wanting to leave at that point i mentioned next year, because my college would be done for good and I'd be free to go... My recruiter said the max. amount of time between enlistment and BCT is 270 days.... So even if I pick April of 2010 to ship, I could go before and have to put college on hold???

[PFC Lowe]

Thank you.. About your last response, that's exactly what my dad says. "You'll be soon on your way to the sand box as soon as taining is over, just wait and see!"

I tried telling them that the odds of that are slim to none, also, if it happens, my odds of dying arent as much as me dying in a car crash driving to work/school...

But I'll never get them to understand, they just tell me to shut up and do what I want. lol.

I was wanting to leave at that point i mentioned next year, because my college would be done for good and I'd be free to go... My recruiter said the max. amount of time between enlistment and BCT is 270 days.... So even if I pick April of 2010 to ship, I could go before and have to put college on hold???

Your recruiter is wrong unless something has changed. I was waiting for nearly 11 months. I believe it is 360 days from date of enlistment. Your chances of deploying are random. Contacting the unit you plan on joining may give you some insight about deployments. Units will know about it long before it comes out in the media. Being NG doesn't exclude you from deploying. A friend of mine from training just got to Kuwait a few days ago and we just graduated March 12.

[OCSAllTheWay]

Your entire family was against it?

It's all I've wanted to do, since I was 15 (almost 21 now) and my family is against it and thinks I shouldnt do it.. and that 6 years is just too much to sign away....

I mean, It's my choice and I still plan on enlisting when I get in good enough shape so that I can run 2 miles in 15min. but it makes it hard having everyone against my decision and not happy with me... and Def. wont be happy in any way when I leave.

So would having your entire family against your choice, alter/effect you in any way?

If you live your life according to what everyone else wants, then you're going to get to 50 and look back and hate how you've lived.

[Rhadamanthus]

I was wanting to leave at that point i mentioned next year, because my college would be done for good and I'd be free to go... My recruiter said the max. amount of time between enlistment and BCT is 270 days.... So even if I pick April of 2010 to ship, I could go before and have to put college on hold???

How long has your recruiter been doing his job? That rule was true when I enlisted in 1998, when the National Guard called it Delayed Entry. If one was still in high school, they had a year to ship. If they have already graduated, they had 9 months (270 days). I was held to that rule and postponed my enlistment a couple of months so that I wouldn't ship until I finished my freshman year of college (I actually shipped on the last day of finals). But that stuff is thrown out the window now. A lot more people enlisting these days.

[WIBecky74]

2006 I waited 337 days and was not in high school. I could have waited those extra 23 days but there wasnt a ship date. I've never heard it has been changed, of course that doesnt mean it hasnt.

[jrm1988]

How long has your recruiter been doing his job? That rule was true when I enlisted in 1998, when the National Guard called it Delayed Entry. If one was still in high school, they had a year to ship. If they have already graduated, they had 9 months (270 days). I was held to that rule and postponed my enlistment a couple of months so that I wouldn't ship until I finished my freshman year of college (I actually shipped on the last day of finals). But that stuff is thrown out the window now. A lot more people enlisting these days.

I actually do not think he's been doing it too long at all. I think he just started within 2-3 years ago. I like him as a person but I don't feel he's that great of a recruiter. I feel like he just wants to hurry up and get me outta here haha. He's pushy.

[notyetdead]

Well, it depends. He is young and has no responsibilities other than himself. So obviously, this would apply. Try the same thing with your wife and kids and see how far that goes.
Agree with this.

jrm1988- Parents will come around. They may never like your decision, but they'll grow to accept it. A big part of being a parent is growing to accept a long list of decisions your child makes that you didn't agree with. It's how your child becomes an adult. You're 21 and should be making up your own mind without basing decisions on what mom and dad think.

If you're married or have kids, it's a different animal and their well-being and her opinions need to be taken into account. If you have a girlfriend, meh. Statistically, girlfriends come and go. Taking their opinions into account is the nice thing to do, but you shouldn't feel the need to base your life around it.

[jrm1988]

Agree with this.

jrm1988- Parents will come around. They may never like your decision, but they'll grow to accept it. A big part of being a parent is growing to accept a long list of decisions your child makes that you didn't agree with. It's how your child becomes an adult. You're 21 and should be making up your own mind without basing decisions on what mom and dad think.

If you're married or have kids, it's a different animal and their well-being and her opinions need to be taken into account. If you have a girlfriend, meh. Statistically, girlfriends come and go. Taking their opinions into account is the nice thing to do, but you shouldn't feel the need to base your life around it.

I actually broke up with my gf a couple months ago because she was a control freak and when I told her about the army, she got pissed and *****ed, but didnt think I'd do it.. then the day I left to take my asvab, she thought i was lying and just went out with friends.... then my recruiter was at the college we both go too and she asked for a free shirt and said her bf talks about it, he asked who her bf was... she said my name and he replied "Oh yeah, thats my boy! He did good on his test's" and she hit the roof.. so I told her she wasnt my wife, nor my mom... and no longer my problem.. haha.

But thanks for everyones input... Im glad to see other people have had the same issue and had good endings to it.

[PFC Lowe]

This is actually a good time to see if a girl really cares about you. It is tough on all parties with you being gone. During training we had people who lost wives, husbands, boyfriends...etc.

[Mom's Mistake]

Yeah I agree that girlfriends come and go and unless I've been with them for at least 5 years straight...taking their advice on personal decisions is a moot point. While in active duty, I knew of wives that came and went too and usually that happened during deployments. Unfortunately, the military has some of the highest divorce rates in the country.