The better half......

[Ravenmik]

Looking for a few suggestions on how to handle a less than supportive wife. Is anyone in the ANG that has a less than supportive spouse? How did/do you handle the situation? I believe her biggest concern is being lonely/Alone while training or in the event of deployment. Are their dependant support groups? In the movie "We were Soldiers", the wives got together to talk about things in a support type group. They were wives of active duty however, and lived on base together. Does this kind of thing happen with Guard members? I know first hand the commaraderie of those that serve together, but what about those left behind? If anyone has overcome spousal objections, how did you broach the subject? Thank you for any insights.

[WIBecky74]

I live in Wisconsin Rapids, Wisconsin. The local National Guard Unit is deployed and the wives (all male unit) do have a support group. They started it up on their own. Maybe that could be something your wife could start if there wasnt already one. Being in charge of such a group could certainly keep one busy. Just a few days ago in our local paper they listed two women who were 'in charge' of the support group and their contact information. Before a Unit is sent out for their training/deployment there are all sorts of functions to go to. I'm certain that during one of these functions the two women got all the wives contact information so they could all stay supportive and in contact witho one another.

[VTguard]

My wife is very supportive of the Military and if the National Guard...but she is less than supportive of me being in it. I served on Active Duty before I met my wife, and was in the National Guard when we met. I was going to get out at the end of 2001, but then September 11th happened, and everything changed. I have reenlisted twice since then and each time involved a lengthy discussion about the ramifications of reenlisting. She was worried about deployment, and being away from our family, and I wanted to continue to serve my country and do what I have been trained to do. I conveyed to her my strong feelings for supporting my country and told her how much it meant to me to be able to fight for my country to keep us safe. Once I explained to her how much it meant to me, and why my reasons for wanting to say in were selfless and in the best interest of not only our family, but my state and country, there was really not much else that could be said. I have been in the military for a total of 12 years now, and I can't imagine a time that I wouldn't want to continue to serve. Although she still not thrilled about me being in the National Guard, she respects my decision and in a way is proud that I feel so strongly that I have an obligation defend our country. Although I have not been deployed, my wife started an informal network of wives of deployed soldiers in our area and was a valuable asset to those falimies while they were away. She helped them get through the sad times, and the respect she had for the soldiers that choose to voluntarily fight for our freedoms was only strengthened.

[AbnMtn]

Every unit and command is required, by regulation, to have a Family Readiness Group (FRG) to serve as the support group and lifeline for the family of all unit members. The National Guards acknowledges that family is probably one of the most important contributor for its members ability to train, mobilize and deploy in support of state and federal missions. Including family members in special unit activities and programs increases their identification with the unit and their support for their service member.

The purpose of the family program is to support the National Guard family in both the military and civilian systems. There may arise some times when advocacy for the families of Guard members will have to be actively pursued in order to assist in the resolution of conflicts. Also, the FRG is the main tool used to keep families appraised and informed about all activities regarding their ARNG military member. Family involvement is used in planning, organizing and conducting activities for the families in the unit. By the same token, command involvement requires that the unit provides whatever resources are available to ensure families are taken care of during the absence of the Guard members. The program is a great tool to provide family assistance when involvement by both the families and the unit command is strong.

[Ravenmik]

Everyone, thank you for the information and suggestions. It wil give me some valuable tools to perhaps comfort my wife in the fact she will never be alone, and she will have avenues of information. Part of the problem I think is that she is a stay at home domestic spouse. We don't have any children, and she has absolutely no friends or family here. I am sure that only increases the fear of lonelyness if I join and leave for awhile and in the event I get deployed.

[Mac]

I imagine I am one of the few who could begin with, "My wife, the daughter of a retired Soviet Colonel..." :eek:

yep, my wife is from Russia and her exposure to the military is just that, exposure to the soviet military. She is less than suportive because of the life she saw there and the complete disrespect she had of it. Uphill battle.

Funny, my Dad was retiredUS Army, hers is retired Soviet...

UPDATE: My wife called home to tell on me. Papa told her to SUPPORT ME, and that he is thrilled! LOL!